


Prisoner

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: All Use Of The Force Is Illegal AU, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Both Rey and Kylo are pretty fucking awesome, Dark Rey, Darkness, Escape, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Grey Rey, I guess more, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Leia Is Kind Of Prickly At First but she comes around, Lightsabers, Masturbation, Maybe - Freeform, Prisoners, Redemption In Each Other, Temptation, The Force, communing, i want to write it but idk ive never written smut before, kind of but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 05:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 38,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12858084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The force has been universally outlawed. Anyone who possesses such a power is immediately hunted down by a bounty hunter and take them in.Rey has been running all her life. She had known since she was a small girl that she was born with the powers that had been cursed and labeled evil by the galaxy. Running had worked for so long, that she was almost surprised when the bounty hunter Kylo Ren had caught her trail. But they might have more in common than they both originally thought.





	1. Begin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shattered_Reality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattered_Reality/gifts).



> This fanfiction is an early Christmas gift to shattered_reality, or @hothmess on tumblr. 
> 
> Chapters update bi-weekly.

Rey was starving.

It had been a long time since she had had a proper meal, she realized.

Now was not the time though, especially since the place where she’d been squatting for the past few weeks had been under surveillance for the past few weeks, and any excessive movement among or around the hovel would alert bounty hunters to her location. Rey sat crouched in a corner of the room where no one could see her from the outside, a canteen of water and a small packet of crackers that she had slowly been ingesting as the days went by.

At nights, the hovel was lit up from the outside. Rey could hear people talking.  See flashlights look inside. The hovel was hard to get into. A large rock that a normal human could not move being in the way of getting to her.

It had only been four weeks, but Rey had grown thankful for it. It was the reason that people didn’t come in to investigate further.

At least, no one ever used to investigate. It was late at night and Rey was nearly asleep when she heard it.

The boulder was being moved.

She jolted upright, hearing a heavy groan and mechanical whirring as a two ton boulder was being moved out of the way. Rey panicked, grabbing her staff and small bag of rations. The boulder was moved out of the way, and a large, compact metal ship was left in entrance.

No one had come through yet, and Rey took her chance, making a break for it without another thought. It didn’t take long for someone to pick up on her trail. Mistakenly, she had taken a chance to look back.

A large darkly clad figure was following her with intensity.

“Kriff—” Rey shouted when she nearly fell five feet. She forgot the ground around this sandy desert planet was staggered, meaning multiple plateaus that could possibly cause you to break your foot if you weren’t careful. Rey jumped again and took off, making a turn for the city off in the distance.

She must have been running for a good thirty minutes when the Force took mercy on her, and a merchant ship started whistling by. Rey grabbed a hold of a side rail and pulled herself onto a holding, watching the darkly clad figure disappear in the distance. “Too close,” She muttered to herself. “Too close,”

* * *

 

Kylo Ren cursed himself when he turned back to his ship. The user that had only been labeled as User #45181991314, with a simple profile. Female, Human, Nineteen. Occupation: None, Status: Alive, On The Run. Hair: Brown, Height: 5’7”. Kylo Ren never let a target go, and he always prided himself on it as a bounty hunter.

When he’d gone through the file of this case, he had been particularly interested in _her._ She had avoided over five hundred and thirty bounty hunters, and despite the fact that she was only nineteen, no one had succeeded in capturing her to date.

He just lost her.

 _This was just a setback,_ he told himself.

Kylo walked back to his ship, growling under his breath when he saw his subordinates just sitting around. “She’s headed to the city,” He started heading up the entrance to the ship.

“Sir, shouldn’t we wait until morning? It’s late.” Someone said. Before he could do anything, Phasma responded with,

“The user could get off planet by then,” She snapped, “we have been following her for the last month. I would rather like to end this.”

“We’ll start packing up.” Kylo was already itching to start tracking her again, but he resolved himself to waiting for the others in the ship.

* * *

 

Rey broke into an abandoned factory, her legs throbbing with the pain of running for so long. She collapsed on a pile of mattress filling. Before long, she found herself passed out, not really caring if she was exposed or not.

 

_Rey had learned to know exactly when she was dreaming._

_She knew she was dreaming when she woke up in the rain. Her hands were covered in blood. Quickly, she looked down at her body, to make sure that she wasn’t bleeding anywhere serious. She was relieved to find that it was just her nose._

_“Rey,” A voice said. It was breathy and soft, and a voice she heard in dreams before. She looked back to see a man that was familiar, someone she couldn’t quite place. “Don’t leave,”_

_There was someone behind him. A woman. “Ben,” She called. “Ben, please.”_

_Rey turned away._

_The scene changed. This time it was a boy, looking down a hallway at her._

_“Hello?”_

_“Hello? Who are you?”_

_“Hello? I- I’m scared.” Rey started to walk towards him, but the hallway crumbled under her, and she landed on the ground again. This time she was back on the planet.. She looked above her to see the figure that was above her.  A large metal object that was buzzing with electricity in his hand._

_“Sorry,” He said, “nothing personal.”_

 

Rey woke up to see that figure above her again, but she could see his face this time.

It was that same man from her dreams—and he was holding that object in his hand. Rey’s body seized as electricity coursed through her veins, her lungs constricting.

“Sorry,” He wasn’t sorry. There was a smirk on his face, “it’s nothing personal.”  

Rey was tempted to give up, to pass out again and get captured, but he stopped early, and Rey knew what he was thinking.

This monster thought that she was going to be easy. A twisted smile formed on her face as she tasted the bile in her mouth. She promptly kicked at his shin, and he momentarily stumbled. Her hand jutted out, the force pushing him clear across the room.

She took the chance to leave, but he was quick to recuperate.

She jumped down to the ground and hit it running. During the day, the city was filled with merchants and citizens roaming the streets. Rey pushed past them, accidentally toppling over a market table as she ran. It didn’t take her long to figure out she was being followed by more than one person.

A woman with a blaster shot at her before another said they were supposed to take her in alive. _They weren’t taking her in unless they managed to kill her,_ she thought.

No bounty hunter had, and no bounty hunter would.

But maybe, just maybe, she had overestimated herself. Hunger pangs had overtaken her enough that she slowed down, and somehow the man that had electrocuted a few seconds later caught up. “Give up,” He sounds so smug. The woman who’d nearly shot her and a few others surrounded her. “You’re surrounded.”

She closed her eyes, seemingly looking like she accepted the defeat. That was far from the case.

* * *

 

Kylo Ren could now add, hit by a flying table of fruits and vegetables to the list of things users had attacked him with. He looked to the side, to see that his subordinates—who were a lot more incompetent than they usually were—had all been incapacitated.

He pushed the table out of the way.

 _This was personal now._ Kylo had dealt with users that were trying to stave off the effects of starvation. She wouldn’t be able to last long. He just had to stall her.

The user remembered that her staff had been strapped to her back, and took it off, swinging at him as hard as she could. Kylo caught the staff in mid-swing and they struggled for a brief second, “You’re impressive, I’ll give you that.”

“Leave me alone!” She snarled. He grabbed her staff, using it to trip her.

“Can’t do that.” He pointed the end of the staff at her threateningly and she coughed. “You’re a criminal after all.”  The next second Phasma was up, and the girl was incapacitated. Kylo tossed her staff to the side as he watched her being cuffed and picked up roughly.

 _Something_ in him couldn’t help but feel bad for her. “I’ll carry her.” he said. Phasma hands her over, and Kylo felt an awkward lump forming in his throat. 

It was the first time he had gotten the proper chance to look at her. For as tall as she was, she was rather skinny. Her skin was lightly tanned from the sun, and looked soft enough. A gloved hand had slid under her thigh when he had picked her up, felt her ass. 

 _Fuck,_ this was a prisoner, he reminded himself. A common criminal. He was to take her to the Republic. 

That part would be fairly easy, so long as she stayed unconscious. 

If she woke up--

Kylo decided to leave his bigger problems for later. 

Right now he just needed to focus on getting to the ship. 


	2. The Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She nearly crashed my ship."

Rey woke up in a ship, hands cuffed but feet free. “You’re awake.” The man is sitting in the cockpit, and she was in a chair, fastened down as best as he could possibly manage. “Do me a favor and don’t try and use the force,” He told her. “Those cuffs will send enough electricity into your system to scramble your brains.” 

“Right,” She was calm, and she could feel him tense because of it. “So, where are your friends?” 

“They had to take another ship,” He said simply. They took off. 

“Why?” 

“Because you nearly killed two of them in the process of transportation.” She snorted. She definitely didn’t remember doing that. “Attacking an operative of the Republic is not a laughing matter.” He said simply. 

Rey was quiet for a second, before getting an idea. Her legs weren't fastened as well as the rest of her body so she kicked at his seat.

“Stop being disobedient, kid.”

  
“I’m nineteen asshole,”

  
Kylo rolled his eyes and locked her hands behind her back before starting the ship. 

“Don’t try and use the Force with those. You’ll get enough electricity to fry your insides.” 

They took off roughly.    


“I can give you something in return for my freedom.”

  
“What could I want from a lowlife like you?” He looked back at her, catching the look in her eyes. His eyes widened and he turned back to the controls. “Listen, kid. Prison for users like you isn’t so bad. You get your own private cell where you can pee by yourself and no one disturbs you. It’s not a reason to prostitute yourself.”

  
“It’s worked before,” Rey said. And it had. This wasn't the first time she had been caught by a bounty hunter only to get free because of a mere blow job.

  
He nearly choked. “Sorry?” The man momentarily looked back at her. “Bounty hunters take a vow-” So that's why they were so eager to get the chance to have sex, Rey thought. But not this one.

  
“If you were really sorry you would let me go because I haven’t committed an actual crime.” He’s silent. Rey knows that she knows he’s right. 

“The Force puts people in danger, it corrupts absolutely, we’re only doing the world a favor.” 

“And the millions of families that you have torn apart? The lives you have ruined? Are those favors?” 

“Collateral damage.” Rey swallows hard, going silent as she thinks of the cold tone in his words.  _ There’s no way of getting out of this,  _ she thought to herself. So she decides to capitalize off of it whilst traveling with him. 

“Do you have any food?” 

“Hungry?” She nodded, and to her surprise he put the ship on autopilot and disappeared for a minute, before bringing a small roll of bread to her. Since her hands were tied down, he held it out for her to take a bite.

Rey expected it to be dry, but it wasn’t. It was actually quite sponge like, and the nicest thing she had eaten in a while. 

Rey stared up at him suggestively, as she took another bite, and he looked away until she was finished. Sitting back in the pilot seat when she was done. 

“You’re quite tense.” She said. “Are you always like this? It must be rather exhausting.” He didn’t respond. Rey got another idea. “You will release me from these restraints, stop at the nearest planet, and drop me off.” 

He sat upright for a second, “I will release you from-” That’s when her surprise set in. He resisted her. “Stop trying, criminal.” 

_ It wasn’t that easy for someone who didn’t have the force to be able to do that,  _ she thought to herself with suspicion. 

“What’s your name?” She asked. He didn’t respond. “Hunter, what’s your name?” 

“Kylo Ren,” He replied, Rey could tell she was wearing him down. 

“That’s not your real name,” 

“How apt of you to figure that out,” The girl realized that the cuffs didn’t stop her from using more docile forms of the force, only the aggressive things. So, gently, she prodded into his mind.  _ Ben Organa _ He didn’t notice the offense, and Rey had gotten what she wanted. 

“I bet you’re someone important,” Rey guessed. “You’re too attractive to just be a mere bounty hunter.”

Silence. 

For a while, Rey sat and watched him in the cockpit, before falling asleep again. When she came to, he said, “We’ll be there in under an hour.” A small wave of anxiety washed over her as she heard this. 

“Kylo?” 

“Hmm,” 

“What’s it like?” 

Another round of silence. She supposed that he actually felt bad, “I’ll make sure you get put in a good cell.” Was all he said.  _ What was that supposed to mean?  _ She thought to herself. 

Good cell meaning some place where she would be stuck forever in captivity, or good cell meaning someplace where she hopefully wouldn’t get stabbed to death. 

That wave of anxiety only becomes larger as they approached the planet. Her cuffs began buzzing with electricity again, but she didn’t register the pain in the slightest.

“Calm down, user.” They entered the atmosphere as Rey began imagining a cramped cell with some other force user that would probably kill her in her sleep. The lights in the ceiling sparked. “I said  _ calm down, _ ”

* * *

 

This was exactly why Kylo Ren was hoping that she was going to stay asleep the entire time they were travelling. The closer they got to the prison, the more anxious she got, squirming in her seat. 

Her cuffs were buzzing, meaning she was trying to use the force again.

At first it was just the lights, but then she started muttering under her breath, “Come on.” Her breathing was heavy, and it seemed like she was straining against the electric currents that tried to incapacitate her. “I am one with the force.” The ship groaned. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“The force is with me,” 

“Are you trying to get us killed?” He worked on the controls. The girl’s handcuffs started beeping. 

She was taking enough electricity to kill a Wookie.

  
Kylo Ren had never seen a person be able to resist that much electric shock until now. They were about to land when her handcuffs started beeping.

  
Kylo looked behind him for just a second as he saw her , teeth gritted, her forehead sheening with sweat.

  
The ship took a nose dive. “You are going to get us killed!” Kylo shouted. 

* * *

  
Electricity was coursing through her veins, the result of the handcuffs trying to stop her from using the force. The pain was distracting her focus. They weren’t diving as fast as she wanted. 

  
Kylo pulled up on the controls as fast as he could, resisting Rey as much as possible, then pushed a button. The cuffs let out a loud ‘pop’ as electricity and Rey c ursed in pain. The ship was level again. 

  
“Nice try,” He almost smirked, but there was no denying that she’d managed to scare him. “Now if you behave, I won’t add attempted sabotage of a Republic ship to your record.”    


They landed. 

  
Rey glared at him as he unlocked the shackles on her feet. “The offer I made earlier still stands,” She told him. Kylo nearly blushes, but then bites the inside of his cheek. A common criminal, nothing more. He reminds himself.

  
“Come,” He said. “I will escort you to the registry.”

* * *

 

She's defeated. 

She doesn't try to escape again, and Kylo couldn't help but feel bad. 

“Another one?” The gates keeper asked, Kylo nodded, scanning a key card. They let him in. 

Maybe she's going to cry, Kylo's not sure, but he notices as they file her into the registry, the operatives are giving her looks that seemed... _predatory_ , to say the least. "I will escort the prisoner to the interrogation room," He says after he's filed his own report.    


"That's not common procedure," The warden says. 

  
Kylo replied, "Orders of Leia Organa." And he let him take her. She was silent for a moment as they walked down a long white hallway.

  
"I can protect myself," She said.

  
"I know. You made that clear when you threw a whole table at me and then nearly crashed my ship."

  
More silence, she looked down at the ground as they shuffled along. “Thank you, though.” Her voice is soft and almost impossible to hear. 

Kylo doesn't reply as he opened the door and ushered her to the seat, locking her hands onto the table. 

The cuffs on the table were different, encasing the whole hand so that it made it more difficult for users to try and escape using the force. 

“Someone will be with you within the hour.” With that he leaves, locking the door behind him.


	3. Bruised

Kylo had kept his promise about someone being there within the hour. Rey was thinking that someone awful would come. Someone that would try and make her cry and feel awful, but it was a boy not much older than herself that came through the door.

He looked scared of her. “I don’t bite,” She said, smirking just the slightest bit. The boy nodded and sat down across from her.

“Are you okay? Do you need some water or something?”

“You don’t do this very often do you?”

“Huh?”

“Interrogators are supposed to be intimidating.”

“Kylo Ren specifically requested me.” Rey looked up at the camera in the corner of the interrogation room. He had to be watching now. “Anyways, do you want water?”

“I’m good.”

“Good, now I’m going to be asking you a few questions. This should be over and then you’ll be given some clothes, escorted to the yard, and we will sort you into a cell block later.”

“I don’t really care.” She sighed.

* * *

 

Kylo had been called to his mother to talk about his report and suggestion for a cell block. She hadn’t even welcomed him back when he came into the room, although she almost never did. “Is there something wrong?” He asked.

“Yes,” She said. “It says here you want to her to move her to the Purple Cell Block. That’s for royalty and children. She’s nineteen and a criminal,”

Kylo rolled his eyes, he should have known that this was going to happen. “Will you just do it?”

“No, I’m putting her in Red Cell Block.”

“Mother, she’s a danger. Putting her somewhere with other force users is a mistake.”

She was silent as she looked over his paperwork more.

“Please?”

* * *

 

“Right, name?”

Silence.

“Date of birth?”

“I don’t know. All I know is I’m nineteen.”

“Father or mother?”

“My grandfather is Obi-Wan Kenobi.” That didn’t answer the question, “And you won’t find me in other databases than the one you have on me here. So don’t try.” Finn was silent for a minute as he wrote stuff down, and then he looked up at her.

“Hey, I know you’re upset about being here, and it really isn’t the ideal situation. If it’s just between you and me I don’t really get why people like you are in here in the first place, but I do need you to answer these questions, okay? It’s kind of my job.”

Rey was silent, and Finn sighed.

“Are you aware of the charges that you have been wanted for?”

“No, but I’m sure you’ll read them to be anyway.”

“Several hundred accounts of assault, aggressive use of the force, mind tricks, and thievery. Do you plead guilty to these charges?”

Rey was silent. Finn repeated the charges.

“Yes,” She finally said.

“Okay, good. Just a few more… bare with me…”

Rey tuned out most of everything else that happened, and Finn walked out on her. Soon she was escorted rather roughly to a room where she was directed to take off her clothes, and was given a prison uniform. Then she was taken down to a cell block that was the exact opposite of “nice” like Ren had promised. She supposed that she shouldn’t have taken the word of a bounty hunter in the first place.

People snarled and taunted her. “Oh look at the newbie,” Someone shouted. “I’d tear her in two in seconds.”

“Wanna test that theory?” Rey shouted at the air.

“Don’t talk to the other prisoners, darling.” One of the wardens escorting her said. “They will rip you into, you’re a twig.”

“Kriffing dick,” She whispered under her breath. She was escorted to another cell at the end of the row that was empty and pushed in. One thing she was glad about was not having to share with someone that would probably stab her in her sleep.

Still, that did not help the wave of anxiety she felt as she watched the wardens lock the door and leave. She felt like she was going to be sick. Rey raised her arm, staring at the reinforced bars. _Maybe, just maybe—_ The metal bars began to bend, but the cuffs worked against her, and the strain that she had put on her body in defeated her. “Don’t try,” She looked up to see a girl in the cell adjacent to her. “Even if those cuffs didn’t stop you, that metal is really fucking heavy. It’s made of Farium.”

Farium was used in the construction of starship hulls.

“Great,” She sighed, resolving herself to laying down on her uncomfortable cot. She closed her eyes, trying her best to sleep despite the cacophony of noise around her.

 _She would get out of here,_ she told herself, _it was just a matter of figuring out how._

* * *

 

It had been four days and his mother hadn’t changed her mind on the topic. “I promised,”

“Doesn’t matter, have things to do. Just relax and do something else.” 

She would say, and Kylo wouldn’t be able to get another word in for the next few hours. He knew he probably could have gotten the girl moved somewhere else without his mother’s knowledge, but he knew that when she found out that he had gotten her moved, the girl would be put in the exact same spot she was already in.

That was, until now.

Both Kylo and Leia were going over Senate documents together when they were alerted of a problem by one of the wardens. “Miss Organa, there’s been a bit of a problem.” A voice patches through the comm system.

“What is it?”

“User #45181991314… she killed four prisoners.”

Kylo refrained himself from saying I told you so as they were hurried to the warden’s office, where holos of the prison were recorded. “What happened?” Leia asked as soon as they got there.

The warden played the footage.

The girl was out in the prison yard, very apparently hogging a pair of weights. Another woman stepped into place, and it looked as if she was asking, rather threatening the girl, for time on the weights. She said no. Soon friends were involved, and Kylo watched as the four of them started pummeling her. This is what he didn't want happening. Seconds passed by, and a the bench press flew across the room, hitting one of the women in the head.

Kylo wished he could say he felt sorry for the woman.

He didn't.

“Aren't the bracelets working?” Leia asked. “They should have incapacitated her.” Another woman's head turned at a gross angle and she dropped. The third woman was thrown up high into the air, her head hitting the pavement with a sickening thud. The fourth had the sense to run, but Rey killed her too.

“It's obvious that she's more powerful than that. She needs to be separated from the others. The purple cell block is where she needs to be.” He tells his mom.

This time, she listens.

* * *

 

Rey coughed up blood. It was something she had gotten used to doing over the years, but it still wasn't pleasant.

Her vision was tunneling, her muscles contracting as her cuffs did their work.

Her memory was spotty, she remembered being transported. Now being in a medbay. A girl attended to her. She looked scared.

“I'm not going to kill you,” Rey says. The girl's tension eases. She was tending to a cut on Rey's forehead.

“I'm Rose.” She said.

Rey didn't introduce herself.

“It says your name isn't in the database.”

Silence.

“Do you know your name?”

“Yes.”

“Well that's good. At least you don't have a concussion,”

“Can I go?”

“Just waiting for someone to escort you to a different cell.” Rose told her. “Then you can go.”

The door opened thirty minutes later.

It was him.

“Thank you nurse,” He says as he retrieves her.

When the door closes, Rey growls.

“Bounty hunter, why are you here?”

“Transporting you to a better cell block,” he explains. “You can be a little more grateful.”

“Oh, yes. My savior. Thank you.”

“Wow, so convincing.”

“Yes, I know. You have my earnest gratitude.”

“Do me a favor and shut up,” She did, but not because he asked her to. The walk to her new cell block was long and she already wasn't feeling well.

It was labeled the Purple cell block, and the cells didn't look like cells at all. They looked almost like apartments. Confines, but still way better off than Rey had it.

Kylo had pushed her into one of the first free ones, and left.

Maybe he felt guilty for promising her someplace that was better than the nightmarish things she imagined, so he got her changed out, a man of his word most possibly.  She thought it might be the last she ever saw of him. He didn't have any more interest in her. Did he?

* * *

 

Kylo Ren had not slept well that night. 

To be fair, he never really had slept well, even as a child, but this was different. His dreams were different.

 

_ This time he could see her, the girl who's name he didn't know. She wasn't in her cell, she was somewhere else.  _

_ It was raining.  _

_ He was staring back at her. “It's better this way,” she said. The rain was hitting everything so hard he barely heard her. “Just go..” She said. “Forget me.” _

_ The scene changed.  _

_ He was in a desert. A small girl lay with her head in the sand, a man with a knee on her back.  _

_ “Hey!” He called out. He ran forward. “Get off of her!” The girl was screaming. It was awful.  _

_ He had gotten close enough to see the bounty hunter sigil on his sleeve, and his stomach turned. No ..   _

_ The scene changed once more and he saw her once again.  _

_ She was in her cell this time, getting undressed. Kylo averted his eyes, despite the clear temptation. “Oh, that's interesting.” She laughs, leaving Kylo confused. “I know you're there.” The girl says. Her uniform falls to the floor, “interrupting me when I was about to take a shower. How rude.” It was obvious that she didn't care that he was there in the slightest. “Look at me, Ren.” He does, despite himself.  She grins, maliciously. “You have gotten yourself in a very bad situation.” _

_ “What?” That didn't make any sense.  _

_ “You're clueless.” She said. “I'm just warning you that I have you figured out. I know what's going to happen. You're not going to like it. I promise.”  _

  
  
Kylo woke up tangled in his sheets, sweating, trying to process what he'd just dreamt. None of that was real, he told himself. Not one bit of it. None of it could've been. Could it?


	4. I Feel You

For three weeks, Kylo avoided the girl.  _ She was messing with him,  _ he thought to himself,  _ saying nonsense things because she was mad that he’d caught her.  _

He put his head into other work, caught a few more users, trained, and tried to do everything to avoid sleeping. Of course, it caught up with him. 

 

_ Kylo was somewhere he remembered quite well. A place that he wanted to forget.  _

_ One of the force users that he caught was a mother of three. None of the kids possessed the force. “Please,”  _

_ The woman had pleaded.  “I’ve never hurt anyone. Please if you won’t let me go for me, think of my kids. They don’t have a father, they don’t have a place to go.”  _

_ Kylo hadn’t listened to any of the woman’s pleas.  He took her away and her kids watched. _

_ That week, the woman had killed herself in her cell, her kids died the week after that.  _

_ Kylo’s stomach turned as he watched his own actions play out in front of him. A voice behind him said, “Do you want me to stop or do you want me to keep going?” He turned to see her.  _

_ “How are you doing this?” He asked.  _

_ “The Force,” She replied. “It was rather easy to find this you know, it’s like your brain is soaked in guilt. You should probably work on that.” She didn’t seem very concerned with the fact that she was violating his privacy, that she was violating his mind.  _

_ “Get out of my head,” _

_ “You’re going to have to do better than that.” She said. The scene deteriorated in front of his eyes, they were in Rey’s cell again. “You have questions. Ask them.” _

_ The first thing he asked was, “What is your name?”  _

_ “I meant here.”  _

  
  


Kylo woke up again, his head pounding. He got dressed quickly and headed to the girl’s cell, praying to whatever benevolent being, that none of the cameras caught him on the way there. He tapped on the glass quietly. She was sleeping at the time, but woke up, and started heading towards the glass as well. 

The glass was tinted. Kylo could see her but she couldn’t see him. That was fine to him. “Ah, I didn’t think you would come.” The girl said. 

“You said come if you have questions. I have questions.” 

“Ask away, monster.” 

He ignored the insult. “What’s your name?” 

“Rey,” She said.

“Why didn’t you say your name when you were getting registered?” 

“Because I knew I would escape eventually, so I thought why bother.” 

“You haven’t escaped yet.” 

“Yet, being the key term.” 

“Right, and how do you plan to escape?” 

“You’re going to release me,” She seemed so sure of it. It was so laughable to him.

“What makes you think that?” 

“Because you’re going to find something out very soon that’s going to make you question everything, and when you do, you’re going to need someone to help you escape.” The way she sounded like she could tell the future was ominous, especially since she seemed so calm while saying it to. 

“And are you going to tell me what the something I’m going to find out is?” This cryptic bullshit was pissing him off. 

“Patience is a virtue, Ren.” 

“You’re not a virtuous person, criminal.” 

“You know my name and yet you still call me criminal, how flattering. Maybe I should call you Ben Solo instead.” 

He physically flinched at that, glad that she couldn’t see him behind the glass. “Don’t.”

For once, she actually obeys him. “Okay,” Her voice isn’t as harsh. 

“Can you at least give me a hint?” He asked. She walked away from the glass, shaking her head. “Goodbye, Ren.” 

“Rey—” She stopped, but didn’t turn around. “—Are you doing better here?” It was an odd question to ask, but still, the guilt of not being able to get her to a better place had eaten at him. She had gotten hurt because of it. 

“Why do you care?” 

“I’m a man of my word.”

“Right,” 

“So are you?” 

“Tell whoever serves me food that I know it’s drugged. I won’t eat it like that.”

* * *

 

Rey had gotten used to counting days in her cell, she had gotten quite good at it. 

Eighty two days, thirteen hours, and fifteen minutes. That is when Kylo Ren had come back to her. She could sense him there, watching her. She didn’t say anything. 

She knew he wanted to say something. 

So she waited. 

“How are you fairing?” 

“Fine.” She said. To be honest, she’d eaten little. It had been more than she ate before she got here, but still not as much as what was desired by the average person. 

It wasn’t because of any sort of hunger strike, either. Rey just had a bad habit of forgetting that her food was there all together and by the time she remembered it, it would be cold and unappealing. “Why are you here, Ren?”

“What you said…” 

“Patience.”

He gets frustrated and leaves. 

Two days, he comes back. Rey’s doing pullups on the small workout contraption she was allowed. 

She knows he’s there, so she keeps working out. 

He doesn’t say a word, then Rey peels her shirt off and starts doing pull ups in just her breast band and pants. She can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He leaves again. 

That night Rey decides that she was going to visit him. She found him easily that night. The man was still awake, sitting at the end of his bed. At first, it was hard to see what he was doing. Then she steps forward a little, watching with a bit of fascination as he stroked his hard member, salty tears stinging his cheeks. 

“Is this your first time masturbating?” 

“Shit—” Rey cackled when he nearly jumped out of his skin, struggling to zip up his pants. “That is not funny,” 

“It is to me,” She said. “You see, this is why chastity vows don’t work. Look at you, feeling guilty for doing something human.”

“You don’t know shit about me,” 

“I know more about you than you think.” 

“Go away.”

“Why?” She cocked her head to the side, watching him run his hands through his hair.  _ He was quite attractive,  _ she thought to herself.

“You’re driving me insane, kid.” 

“Not a kid, asshole.” He threw his pillow in her general vicinity. 

She got the message. 

Her escape would be soon anyways. 


	5. Ren

“Are you okay?” Was the first thing when she saw Kylo in the morning. Kylo groaned,  _ he fucking hated that question.  _

“Tired.”

“You look more than tired.” Kylo shuffled over to his mother’s kitchen, grabbing some coffee. “You look sleep deprived.” He said nothing. “Have you been visiting that girl?” 

_ Damn it—  _ Kylo nearly choked on his coffee. “What?” 

“You have,” 

“Mother, it’s too early for this nonsense.” 

“No, don't do that to me. I don't know what your fascination is with her but she is just a criminal.”  _ Just a criminal,  _ Kylo thought,  _ he had tried to convince himself of that, but he knew it wasn't true. He was drawn to her.  _  “You’re not to visit her again, do you hear me?” 

At first Kylo said nothing, but Leia gave him a look that wore him down. “Yes, mother.” He picked up his gym bag, “I’m going to train.” He just wanted to get this conversation over with.

* * *

 

Rey was taken to a place she had not seen before, a singular room, with a chair that cuffed her hands down. There was a glass partition separating her and the mother of the man who captured her. Leia Organa. She was cuffed down. 

She felt that she should be intimidated, but she wasn’t. “Did I do something bad?” She smirked. 

“You’ve been using the force,” 

“As one does.” A sharp pain in her wrists makes her yell in pain. “Kriff, senator, are you really that scared of a nineteen year old girl?” She huffed. 

“I want to know what you’ve been doing to him,” 

Rey was silent, another shock was administered, but this one didn’t register. She was ready for it. “You want to know what I’ve been doing to your son, Miss Organa?” 

“You will address me as Senator, nothing more and nothing less.” 

“I want to know what you’ve been doing to your son,” Rey asked, “how long have you been lying to him,  _ Miss Organa?”  _ Another shock, these electric pulses were much more concentrated than the ones from the cuffs that Kylo had put her in. Rey screamed, and when she was done, she leaned over and spat on the floor. “Listen I know sick is not fun to clean up so do me a favor and don’t electrocute me again,”

The senator was about to ask another question when Kylo Ren burst through the doors on the other side of the glass. “Mother,” 

“Ren,” 

“Wow, you don’t even address your son by his own name? That’s a bit fucked up don’t you think.” 

“You’re not making this any better for yourself,” Kylo shouted at her, then he turned to his mother. “Let her go, now.” 

“You do realise I hold a higher position of authority than you do, I can do whatever I want.” Whilst Rey appreciated the barging in before her torture got too graphic, Leia did have a point. She could technically do whatever she wanted to Rey and Kylo couldn’t control it one bit. 

“Yes, but she’s done nothing wrong to me or you. Now let her go.” It’s then that Rey sees the one bit of human decency the senator has left in her, she orders Kylo to take her out of the cell and transfer her back to the place where he’d put her in the first place. When Kylo was sure his mother was out of the way, he asked, “Are you okay?” 

“Not the first time I’ve been tortured, probably won’t be the last.” He tensed on that, the grip on her arm getting tighter. “Don’t worry, I kinda like it.” She smirked, watching as he visibly reddened. It was hilarious to her how embarrassed he got when she said something sexual. 

They walked a little further before Kylo said, “About last night—”

“What, are you going to tell me not to tell anyone else that you were masturbating? To me no less.” 

“It wouldn’t look good to the— **”**

**“** —me, a common scoundrel. I’m flattered to have the affection of a man of such authority and importance.” The sarcasm in her voice could have killed a man. That’s when she got an idea that she know would ultimately harm her in the end. 

There was no one in her way right now save Ren, she could kill him really easily here. “If you got caught from trying to kill me you would be hanged.”  _ Damn it,  _ she thought. “Thanks, though. It’s not like I just rescued you from potential death.” 

She wonders if he knows what he’s doing, if he knows that he’s in her head, or if he thinks that she’s projecting. 

She doesn’t mention it though.

Soon, she figured. 

Soon enough.

* * *

 

Kylo went back to his bedroom, and did it again. This time he wasn’t as guilty about it as the first, there was a certain comfort in the fact that Rey knew. That way he didn’t feel like he was  _ that awful  _ for thinking about her, a fucking nineteen year old- 

_ You know when most men masturbate, they don’t feel bad about it. It helps them finish, unless you’re into that shit. If you are….  _  Rey was in his mind again. This time she wasn’t actually in the room, which made it a little less awkward. 

He didn’t finish. 

When he was done, he laid back on his cot, and tried his best to fall asleep. 

This time Rey didn’t bother him with any dreams or nightmares, she wasn’t there at all, and somehow that was worse. 

He woke up a mere hour later and went to visit her. 

She was waiting. 

“Do you want me to get tortured?” 

“No,” 

“Then why are you here Ren?” She asked tiredly. 

“I wanted to see you,” 

“Don’t you have friends?” Silence. “You’re worried about something, aren’t you?” 

“Maybe it’s just the constant sense of unease that’s constantly about me,” Rey was silent. “I don’t know. It’s just… something’s wrong. I can feel it.” 

“It’s almost time.” She said. 

“Time for what?” His fist pounded against the glass and Rey recoiled. 

“I told you that you weren’t going to like what was going to happen, Ren.” She spat. “So go home, sleep. Enjoy your last few days working for the Republic.” That sounded ominous. Kylo was going to ask if that was a threat, but a jet of electricity created splinters in the glass, and Rey nearly fainted from the electric current that went through her cuffs. 

He got the message. 

For a few days, Kylo went sleepless. He was approached by Phasma in the hallway, “Sir.” She said. “Sir, we haven’t seen you in training for the last week.” 

“Oh, yes. Sorry. I forgot. I’ll be there this afternoon.” He needed to distract himself after all. 

It turned out that had been a mistake. Phasma was the only one of his constituents who matched him in combat training, and could even kill him herself if she really wanted to, and they trained hard.

Something happened, something that he couldn’t quite describe. Phasma’s training staff ended up flying clear across the room and breaking on the wall with an intensity that wasn’t normal. 

He had considered asking Rey about it but decided it was nothing. 

Still, her words echoed through his mind. 

_ Enjoy your last days working for the Republic.  _ What did that mean?

He found himself spiralling, and that’s when something happened that he know shouldn’t have. His lamp broke. It flew clear across the room and broke. 

_ No, no, no.  _ His stomach turned as he tried to rationalise it. Maybe Rey was trying to fuck with him, maybe this was a dream, a nightmare, and he was about to wake up. 

_ Enjoy your last days working for the Republic.  _

She’d infected him, somehow. To ruin him. 

_ Not how the force works,  _ her voice was in his mind again. 

No, this was wrong. 

This was a bad nightmare, a very, very bad nightmare. 

He laid down and went to sleep. 

He’d confront Rey about it in the morning. 


	6. Family History

Ren was behind her, she could hear every single one of his loud, boisterous thoughts. “You’re here to ask a question, I assume.” 

“I’m here to tell you to get out of my head. Harassment of an officer of the Republic is a crime.” Rey smirked and turned towards the glass. She had a vague idea of where he was on the other side of the glass. 

“Harass you? Kylo, if I was harassing you, you’d probably have gone insane by now.” 

“I am going insane.” 

Rey rotated her neck from one side to the other, effectively popping it. “No you’re not.” She said, “You’re in denial.”

He left again, and Rey couldn’t help but feel bad. She remembered when she’d first discovered the force, she was so scared, and alone… 

She shook her head. 

He captured her. 

He caused her and so many others to waste away in captivity, he deserved to feel pain. 

He came back again an hour later. “Why are you here?” She asked. She was working out again, a bit frustrated with the fact that she was out of breath so fast. 

“Can users infect normal people?” Rey’s blood boiled at that,  _ he deserves what’s coming to him,  _ he thought. She turned towards him and spat at the glass. She hoped that he flinched. “I guess that was insensitive.” 

“The Force is not a disease, asshole. It doesn’t infect people, it just awakens at different times. The Force is something often carried down a long line of force sensitives.” 

“There’s no force sensitives in my family.” 

That’s when Rey burst out laughing. It was quite sad, that this man had been lied to his whole entire life, actually. But she was tired of giving him pity. 

“Are you sure about that?” 

“You don’t know anything about me.” 

“Yes, actually I do. Ben  _ Organa.  _ I’ve read the Jedi Scrolls, the Journal of The Whills, the journal of my grandfather, Obi Wan Kenobi. I know everything about your family history, more than I know about myself to be honest.” 

“Those things have been destroyed.” 

“Yes, they were destroyed ten years ago. Just a reminded I’m nineteen, I studied more Jedi Lore than you can even imagine. I memorised a lot more than anyone else and I copied down things I knew would be important and hid them in places that no mere human will ever find them.  _ You, you and your fickle Republic,  _ are never going to achieve your dream of keeping people in captivity like animals. I don’t even know why you’re defending these people with your family history, Ren.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Silence. 

“Rey, I demand you tell me what you’re talking about.” 

“And what do I get out of it?” She asked. She heard a groan of frustration. 

“Just tell me!” 

“Fine,” She looked through the tinted glass, her eyes darkening. “Leia Organa has a brother.” 

Kylo’s face darkened. “What?” 

“Luke Skywalker, son of Anakin Skywalker. She erased her brother from the Republic records, and her own father as well. After Darth Vader died and the law banning all use of the Force was passed, she made sure that no one would know her relations to Darth Vader and exiled him.” 

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

He hoped that what Rey was saying was all lies, that this was some vindictive game set up that would help her escape. He knew that that was most likely not the case though. 

Kylo began walking away from Rey. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Away from you,” He said. 

He needed to talk to his mother. 

His head was a mess in a way that it had never been before, and he wasn’t sure how to sort it out.  _ She lied, she lied, she lied.  _

Kylo could feel a wave of anger rising up in his throat as he grasped onto multiple ideas at once. Denial could keep him hidden, he could avoid his mother, avoid Rey and try his very best to forget about it. He could also confront her about it, resulting in him inevitably being jailed for treason. 

Rey would say I told you so and laugh at him. 

What was he supposed to do? His mother lied to him, told him he wasn’t a monster when he was. For a while, he stayed confined to his bedroom, racking his brain for some sort of plan.  _ What was he going to do? What was he going to do?  _ Nothing in his brain was processing in the way that he wanted it to. 

That’s when one thought ultimately cut through him,  _ he had been hunting his own kind, and his mother knew. She knew the entire time, she had told him users were evil when she was related to them.  _

_ Rey knew the entire time too.  _

There was one difference, though. Leia was his mother. Rey owed no kindness to him, and therefore her holding out on him ultimately didn’t matter. 

So he went to Leia, he went to Leia at the worst time possible and in front of as many people as possible. 

She was in a meeting when he charged in, his blood was boiling. 

“Ren!” She shouted. 

“Mother, a word?” 

“What does your boy think he’s doing?” 

“Forgive his lapse in judgement,” Leia said. She looked irritated to say the least, but Kylo didn’t care. She lied. 

“I think you should be asking me to forgive your lapse in judgement-” 

“Kylo Ren, watch your tone.” 

Everyone seemed interested in this shouting match the two of them were having. “Have you been lying to me all this time?” Leia’s eyes widened. She had.

“I don't know what you're talking about-”

“ _ About our family, about where I came from!” _

Anger was welling up in his throat. There was no hiding it now. Lights began to spark and people were whispering. “Ben, calm down.”

“No, not until you explain yourself!” That was it. A table flew across the room and very nearly hit his mother. 

That's when he was put back into reality. 

Everyone was staring at him in shock. 

“Ben-”

_ He was a monster.  _

_ He had the force. _

Without thinking, Kylo ran. 

They would expect him to run for the docks, to get an escape that way, but he headed for the prisons. 


	7. Escape

_Go left, there are two guards. Approach them normally, use your key card and make sure that the door is locked behind them. You got here in two minutes and five seconds. They have not been alerted of the fact that you have the force yet._ Her voice was there, in his head again.

This time he was glad to have her there.

_Why are you helping me?_

_You headed towards the prisons to free me so you would have a better chance of getting out of here alive. Of course I am going to help you. Now do as I say._

Right. He did. Luckily no one paid him any mind and he was able to lock the entrance to the purple cell block without anyone paying any mind to him.

That's when all the lights in each cell turned red. A senator's voice played over the comm system. “ _Hunters, be on alert for Kylo Ren. He has the force and nearly killed his mother. He is dangerous. Apprehend him at once.”_

_Oh, wow. You almost killed your mother? That’s fucked up._

_I don’t appreciate how apathetic you’re being about this._ He fired back. He ran to her cell, only to find it already open, and the electric cuffs she’d been in were broken on the floor. Rey must have cut herself to slip out of them, because there was a bit of blood covering them as well. _Where are you?_

Rey tapped his shoulder and he nearly jumped out of his skin. “Right here,” She said. ‘“We need to knock out a guard, and get a weapon.” He nodded and they started running towards the opposite exit. He knew that he should be worried about the fact that she was already bleeding from both wrists but Rey didn’t seem very affected by it, they kept running, even as a multitude of guards started shouting. _Release some of the prisoners._ She said.

_What?_

_We need some cannon fodder in order to get out of here, do it now!_ Her commands cut through his skull like a knife. He went to the nearest cells and opened them. People started rushing out, just like Rey wanted. In the small crowd of people, they were able to disappear for the most part.

Guards fired plasma blasters, and Rey laughed. None of these weapons were of very much consequence to her. She was taking turns like she knew how to get out of this place. Kylo didn’t question it.

A kid no younger than twenty came around the corner, and nearly shot him point blank. “Drop the gun,” He shouted back at the kid. “I really don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Especially someone that young. The kid was just doing his job. He didn’t drop the blaster though, and he watched as the kid’s body was thrown back into a wall, and he crumpled to the floor in an unconscious heap. “We don’t have time for this, Kylo. Grab his blaster and key card!” Rey shouted.

He did, shaking his head silently as they started moving again. They’d made it past the first clearance gate without any problems, stopping behind a stairwell to catch their breaths. “You planned this all, didn’t you?” Kylo hissed.

“Yes,” The bluntness of her reply should’ve hurt, but Kylo actually found it slightly refreshing compared to his mother who was trying to deflect his questions the entire time. “But can you really blame me? I didn’t have anything else to do. Besides, you awakening isn’t my fault. Blame your shitty mother who never told you your family heritage.”

Kylo looked down her wrists, they were still bleeding. “Kriff, Rey, how are you still conscious?”

“Between you and me, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to slip out of those cuffs, now come on!” Kylo lead first this time. He really didn’t want the best chance of him escaping being shot.

They walked up the stairwell to the second clearance section. People were waiting for them, filing up and down the stairs.

They were surrounded.

“Hands above your head, drop the blaster.” Someone shouted.

 _Do it,_ Rey said.

_What?_

_Do it. Have the blaster close by though._ Kylo nodded. “Okay, I’m putting it down. You got us.” Guards and soldiers were starting to come closer to him.

“On your knees!” _Rey, whatever you’re going to do-_

_It’s going to be fucking hilarious._

_I wouldn’t call killing people hilarious.?_

_No, but hearing them scream first is._ He knew that she was being sarcastic, that the loss of blood was making her more angry than she usually was, but still, the way she said that made his blood go cold.

“Tell that bitch there to kneel too!”

Shit.

They were all dead. The emergency lights in the stairwell sparked, sending a shower of flaming red sparks onto the people below Rey on the steps. The sparks were so strong that a few of them actually caught on fire.

“Fuck! Fire!”

It was almost as if on cue, Rey and Kylo jutted out their hands at the same time, and the four blaster bolts that were headed right for them stopped in mid air. _I just did that.._ Kylo thought to himself, _how did I just do that?_

_No time to ask how, move!_

They moved up the stairs, and the blaster bolts hit the walls behind them. “You have an option,” Rey shouted at the soldiers. Most of them were cowering in fear now. “Submit to this, _bitch,_ and let us leave, or I can shove my hand down each one of your throats, take out your intestines, and make you eat them again before throwing you down the stairwell to your inevitable doom.”  

They chose surrender.

Kylo didn’t blame them.

They cleared the second clearing.

Two more to go until they got to the dock. Rey was beginning to look like she was going to get sick, but she didn’t start falling behind in the slightest bit. The third clearing didn’t have anyone in it, thank god, but Kylo knew that meant that people were waiting for them on the docks.

And of course, they were.

* * *

 

Twenty five men.

Great.

This was just fucking fantastic, Rey thought to herself. She was getting tired, the blood loss finally getting to her as she watched more and more men file into the room in front of their way to the ships. “We have you surrounded. It’s time to give up.”

_What do we do?_

_I don’t know, kriffing hell that’s a lot of people._

_I can’t be in prison Rey._

_Oh, yes. Definitely. It’s awful, especially when you’re put in prison for something that you were born with._

_Okay, I get the point, but you do realise that by aiding and abetting me that will get you the electric chair?_

_So I’m fucked if I don’t help you.._

_Basically._

Rey groaned. She was pissed, more than pissed. She directed the anger in her to her fingertips, and jutted her hand outwards. One loud crack of electricity swept through the guards like it was nothing, and they made their way to the ships.

They chose one with enough room for the both of them. Kylo got in the pilot’s seat, and Rey the gunner.

 _You can do this._ She sent through the bond. _We just need to get a few planets away and then switch ships. After that we can figure out what to do from there._


	8. Chapter 8

Rey passed out once they got out of the system. 

That was fine to Kylo. He’d put her in the medbay of a newer ship they’d stolen and pilotted until she was recovered. 

She sat in the copilot’s seat now, looking tired as all hell as she watched Kylo in the pilot seat. “You’re trying to distract yourself from having a mental breakdown.” The girl said. “That’s why you’ve been piloting three days straight, and haven’t stopped to sleep. You’re going to die or go insane and kill me if you keep this up. Go to bed.” There wasn’t anything he could say to that. 

He went to bed, got an hour of sleep, and then woke up from a nightmare. Rey was in the pilot scene this time. 

On the fourth day, they seemed to be bickering. Bickering turned into something a lot worse. “Why are you so upset about leaving the Republic?” Rey had shouted at him. Although he might not have shown it outwardly, she could hear and see all of his thoughts.  _ Why did I create this fucking bond?  _ She thought to herself,  _ He is the most annoying little-  _ “They jail people like us on a regular basis, they tear families apart! They would've killed you back there!" He was sitting in the co-pilots seat them. He seemed rather offended by her rather sudden yelling.   


"You wouldn't understand, you're nothing, you come from nothing, you've never been anything or had any sense of purpose or loy-" he started choking in his seat and Rey put everything on autopilot.

  
"Oh really, Kylo? I'm nothing huh?” She got up, still watching him struggle for oxygen. Rey placed the foot of her boot lightly on his groin. He grunted, in pain, in pleasure. Rey wasn't sure. “I guess the woman who killed herself after you brought her into custody was nothing too. I'm sure her kids who died were nothing as well. You think that a title makes you something? You think that a last name makes you a man? You are far from that, Ben Solo. You are nothing, just like I am. Nothing but a scared kid whose mother lied to him." She released him from a choke hold and got off of him. He was crying. Not just from the oxygen deprivation, but from the fact that she'd just emasculated him, or maybe from the fact that everything she said was right. 

The next time she was in the same room with him he tried to apologize. 

She didn't listen. 

_ I'm sorry.  _ He pushed through the bond.  _ I didn't mean what I said. Not like that. Anyways. It was rude of me. I'm sorry.  _

_ I'm dropping you off at the next habitable planet. You can fend for yourself. _

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I'm dropping you off at the next habitable planet.” Rey repeated coolly. “You can fend for yourself, I mean after all you were a big bad bounty hunter so you can live on your own.” 

“Rey-” 

“I thought I was nothing?” He sighed. She wasn’t going to let him live that down, was she? 

“I need someone to teach me,” He said. “You could.” With that Rey let go of her controls, and leaned back in her seat. “You’re strong with the force, and as you said, you’ve read the Jedi texts. Rey, you could teach me.” He leaned over in his seat, swiveling a little so he was facing her. 

“I’m no teacher,” She said tiredly. “I’m not heroic or a Jedi Master and I’m certainly not wise or patient.” 

“I’m not any of those things either, that doesn’t mean that you can’t teach me.” 

“Why the sudden change of heart? I thought that you hated force users.” 

Kylo looked down at the ground, biting his lip. Finally, after a long pause he said, “Because this is the first time I haven’t had a purpose Rey. The first time I haven’t had a war to fight. I need purpose, I need a distraction, something to put my faith in, I still have so much faith left over from the Republic and no place to put it and I need a place to put it-” 

“Why don’t we find Luke Skywalker instead?” Rey asked. “It might take a bit but he could teach you and then I could be on my way and we never have to see each other again. If Leia caught me I wouldn’t tell her where you were,” It was a much more reasonable offer than Rey teaching him. She had no time for a boy with such emotion anyways. Still, when he made that offer, there was something that tugged inside of her. Something that had almost made her say yes. Something that almost made her offer her tutelage. 

“It won’t be fast enough, Rey. If you leave me without any tutelage I will just be dead weight to you and you know it.” He moved a little, stretching forwards and placing a gloved hand on her thigh. Rey tensed. It had been about four or five months since she had sex with someone, and she had to admit that she had fantasised about being with him at least once in her time of capture. “Please.” His voice was as soft as his touch, his thumb slightly caressing the inside of her thigh. 

She couldn’t help it anymore. She got up and turned his seat towards her. “I will teach you, a bit.” She said. “But first take off your belt,” It was so frank, so forward, but she was never one to tease about such things. 

“Rey-” 

“You’re not a bounty hunter anymore Kylo, breaking your vow of chastity won’t make you corrupted, especially since the Republic lied to you about your birthright. Now come on. I’ve seen your mind, I know what you want. Take off your belt.” He took off his belt without a second word. “Pants and undergarments down.” She watched as he followed each one of her words, revelling in the little bit of power that she got from watching him. 

Kylo was well built, to say the least. “What are you going to do?” 

Rey kneeled in front of him. “This is probably going to be the most pleasurable option considering you’re still a virgin.” Kylo’s face grew hot as he realised just what Rey was doing.  _ Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.  _

_ Are you sure about this?  _

_ I can stop whenever you want me to. Just say the word. Do you want me to stop?  _

_ No. Don’t. _

* * *

 

Kylo was ashamed to say it, ashamed to admit he’d wanted this. She was still a criminal, she was just using him for her own pleasure at the moment, but maybe he could use her too. She was quite good at whatever she was doing. She’d done something with her mouth, licked his hardened member, used her tongue in ways that he’d never thought that he would experience. It was only about five minutes before he’d said, “Fuck I don’t think I can wait any longer,” and Rey pulled away as she finished.  She wiped her mouth and sat in the pilot’s seat again like it was nothing. She was just as out of breath as he was. “Do you not want me to-” 

“Forcebond remember? I felt what you felt.” She looked happier. More at ease. “Now put your pants on, I have a plan.” 

For the next few hours, Rey and Kylo switched places to sleep. “Where are we going?” He finally asked her. 

“Ilum,” 

“Ilum? That freezing planet? Why?” 

“They have kyber crystal there.” She said. “We need lightsabers.” 

“I’m going to need a better answer than that.” 

“Lightsabers. The weapon of most force users before the force was outlawed,” Kylo stared at her blankly. 

“God, what has your mother been teaching you?” 

“That all people who use the force are evil but that’s clearly not the case. You’re not evil.” 

“I’m not good either.” She said. “Just because you’re not evil doesn’t mean that you’re not a bad person, Ren.” 

“You’re not a bad person. You’re teaching me how to use the force.” She stared ahead blankly. 

“Yes.” She said. “The force, speaking of the force, do you even know what the force is?” 

“A power that people have that makes things float and or explode.” 

“Amazing,” Rey chuckled, “almost everything you said in that sentence was wrong.” 

“Okay then what is it?” 

“It’s the in between, the energy that fuels us all.” 

“Real specific, flygirl.” Rey rolled her eyes at that. 

“Go out to the main room. Sit down, and meditate. That is your first lesson.” 

“Meditate.”

“Yes, meditate.” She said, her teeth gritted. “If you want to use the force properly you must focus,” Rey didn’t tell him that she didn’t start out the way that he was starting out. Rey was born with the secrets of the force engraved in her brain, with the sound of every heartbeat of every force sensitive in her head, whispers of the secrets of every creature living and dead within her. She hadn’t needed to meditate. Never. 

He followed her orders, although he seemed rather skeptical about it. She could see him in her mind, sitting legs crossed in the main room of the ship. 

_ What do you want me to do?  _ He pushed through the bond. 

_ I want you to reach out, with your feelings, and tell me what you see.  _ Rey focused on getting to Ilum, but she could feel him. Feel the force within him emanating softly from his body, coming out in tendrils as it surrounded and cloaked everything.

* * *

 

It took a few minutes. Then he saw her in the cockpit.  _ I see light.  _

_ Good,  _ she replied,  _ what else?  _

**_He picked up visions of him as a child, when he was just a baby. His mother was holding him, and by her, two men. “Luke,” she said. “You know you have to get as far away from him as possible. We can’t have him knowing that he’s force sensitive. Especially after the ruling,”_ ** _ A wave of anger washed through him as he watched the scene. And then he remembered what Rey said. Luke Skywalker. They could find him. Kylo studied every line, every edge of his face.  _

**_“I know,” Luke said. “Just let me see him one more time and then you will never hear from me again.” When he left, the other man was left there with Leia._ **

**_“You’re making a mistake, Princess.” The man said._ **

**_“Senator,” Leia corrected._ **

**_“You’ll always be princess to me.”_ **

**_“I know, and this is the best way to keep him safe, Han.”_ **

_ What do you see Ben?  _ Rey urged. 

_ I see warmth,  _ he pushed through the bond. The scene faded before he had a chance to see what else happened. Han… why was that name so familiar? 

It was his mother, again, she was sitting in a courtroom yelling at a bunch of other people. He could only just make out her yelling his name, and then the words, ‘not’, ‘alive’, and ‘inhumane’.  _ Coldness.  _

Then it was Rey again, but she was a young girl. She wasn’t on Tatooine but instead a grassy planet, meditating in a meadow of flowers that seemed to be blooming as she sat there. She was making them bloom.  _ I see life.  _

That same planet. 

She stood over fifteen bounty hunters, shaking in the cold rain. She had blood all over herself. Kylo realised that none of it was her own.  _ Death. Death that decays but is righteous.  _

A few years later. Their bodies were still there, underground.  _ It feeds new life.  _

_ Yes, good. That is what the force is.  _ Kylo sat up, thinking to himself about everything he had just seen. Did Rey know about the small glimpses that he saw of her? Or did she already know? Had she seem them? Did she know about Han.  _ Your father.  _ A voice cuts through his head. 

_ What?  _

_ He was your father. I don’t know much about him other than he was major role in defeating Darth Vader.  _ There was silence on the bond, Rey was considering telling him something. Or maybe somebody was telling her something instead.  _ There is one more thing I could tell you,  _ she says.  _ But I’m not sure you would like it.  _

_ Tell me. I’m done with secrets.  _

_ Han Solo is dead.  _ Kylo felt like he was going to throw up. The man he never even got to meet.  _ For five years, he protested the act that outlawed the Force being used. Against your mother’s wishes. Then he gave up. No justice was being done. So he went away, he went to a bar on Takodana, and resigned himself to oblivion. He was shot by a Republic operative two years ago.  _ What was he supposed to do with this information?  _ Your mother didn’t know. She still doesn’t.  _

_ How do you know this?  _

_ The force.  _

Of course it was the force.

Kylo took a sharp breath in and came back to the co-pilot’s seat. Sitting down silently next to Rey. “Are you okay?” She asked. This time it sounded genuine. 

“No.” He said. “But now that you told me, I will be.”

“Right.” 

“Let’s just get Ilum.” 

Rey nodded in agreement. “Lucky for you we’re just approaching the surface.” 


	9. Ilum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The voice, it's familiar. At tenses at the name, Luke Skywalker. Almost as if the voice was connected to Skywalker himself.

They’d gotten to the surface of Ilum within hours, and Rey was starting to regret the fact that they hadn’t brought any coats, but she hadn’t admitted to it. _Kyber crystal,_ she thought to herself, _they would just get the kyber crystals and then they could get out of here together._ It was astonishing to Rey how she had gone along with entertaining this man, in many ways she still thought him rather intolerable, but she remembered what she’d been like grappling with the fact that she had the force for so long. Perhaps it was that one ounce of sympathy that spurred her on. “How are we supposed to find these kyber crystals?” Ren asked.

“The force,”

“Fuckin’ really?”

“Yes, fucking really. Kriff, Ren. Watch your fucking language.” Kylo laughed.

“Aren’t you cold?” Rey ignored him, and started walking towards the cave. Kylo took the cue to shut up and began following her. Perhaps he heard something, sensed something in the force. Because he got quiet. Quieter than he usually was. _How do you find these crystals?_ He pushed through the bond.

 _Let the crystal find you,_ Rey said.

_That’s specific._

_Did you know that one of the great Jedi masters, Yoda, spoke in backwards sentences? You're lucky you have me as a teacher. Stop being ungrateful you ass._ She walked forward, quieting all her other thoughts, and momentarily shutting Kylo out of the bond.

The one thing that Rey had gotten used to was find kyber crystals, there was something about them that just called to her, it made building a lightsaber all the more easy. The caves of Ilum were dangerous in the fact that some parts of the pathways were slippery, and you could most definitely break your neck if you fell. She looked back at Kylo, who had gotten rather quiet as well. _Maybe he’d found something,_ she thought to herself.

She let herself stray rather far from him before she found it, the colorless crystal had called to her rather suddenly, and she picked it up with ease.

Once activated, kyber turned a certain color. Rey’d had three lightsabers before, one blue, one green, one colorless. She supposed that it signified different things that happened in her life that changed her.

She opened the bond so that she could find Kylo again. _Where are you?_

_At the entrance._

_Did you find a crystal?_

_Yes._

_Good._

When Rey and Kylo met back up at the entrance, Kylo had this look on his face like he wasn’t sure what he had just experienced. _How do these tiny things fuel a weapon?_

 _Just like something big can fuel a weapon,_ Rey pushed through the bond. _Now come on, let’s get back to the ship. It’s cold._ She was right, Ilum was freeze your balls off cold, and neither of them was rather eager to stick around.

The two of them were silent as they left the system.

“Rey?” Kylo asked after a while.

“Yes?”

“You know what it’s like to feel alone,” She wasn’t sure where there was going, but she didn’t like the possibility of where it could lead.

“Yes, I’ve been alone my whole life. Still am,” That stung. He was silent again. “Ren?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want-”

“Yes, if you want to of course.” Rey was still cold from Ilum. She figured she could use a little bit of friction. “Come on flyboy,”

* * *

 

The second time was quick, and not intimate, almost like the first time. They’d both taken their pants off but nothing else, and Kylo had pressed Rey up against one of the walls in the ship’s small medbays. When he was done he let go of Rey, and she pulled her pants back on, laughing. “Was that okay?” He asked.

“You can work on it,” She said. “But it was better than I expected from you to be honest, better than most.” That made him feel better, and with that Rey went back to the cockpit.

“So,”

“So?”

“What are we going to do with the kyber crystals?”

“Make lightsabers,”

“Yeah, I know that. I mean how are we going to make them,”

“There’s a planet. I hid parts to a few broken sabers that I had found there. We get them and we make them and we go. Then I take you to Tython.”

“That name’s familiar.”

“Good, you do know something.” She said. “Tython is one of the places where the Jedi Order made their first temples. Including Jedha, Coruscant, and Ach-To.” Kylo had a vague memory of all those planets, but the name Ach-To seemed to stick out to him the most. “Most of them are in ruins,” She said. “But they’re some of the most force sensitive planets on Earth.” She said. “So I’m taking you there, and we might die.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because, Ren. The planets that are the most sensitive are also crawling in bounty hunters.” She was insane. “You don’t want to be dead weight, you’ll have to learn how to be around me without getting us both arrested.” That made sense, but Kylo still wasn’t happy about it. “Maybe along the way we find Luke Skywalker,” She’d leave him then.

Kylo stayed silent about Skywalker, but she knew what he was thinking. _Is he even still alive?_

_Look through the force, you’ll know then._

_How am I supposed to do that?_

_Go meditate again._ She said. He did. Rey could tell he was a bit frustrated.

She couldn’t blame him.

Rey had no clue what she was doing. She wasn’t cut out for this type of thing.

She wasn’t cut out for being around people for a prolonged amount of time, and although she and Kylo had only been travelling together for about a week and a half, the effort was wearing her thin. Rey put the controls of their ship on autopilot and leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes.  

Doing this was almost like slipping into liquidated darkness, as she thought of it. She was never asleep but she wasn’t really meditating either. It was something else, like she was waiting for someone to communicate with her.

 _Help,_ she called out through the force. _I don’t know what to do._ She looked up.

 _What are you having trouble with?_ A voice called out to her.

 _Him, Kylo Ren. What do I do with him?_ Silence. _Ben Solo, what am I supposed to do with him?_

 _What are you doing with him?_ The voice asked, she felt a wave of impatience rise in her, but she replied,

 _Biding my time. He wants me to teach him. Wants me to stick around for some reason, I don’t know why._ She could feel a shift in the force, as if the person that was on the other end of the line.

_Have you considered teaching him?_

_I have, a little._

_But you don’t want to continue teaching him, too much responsibility, eh?_ That was a bit rude to presume in Rey’s mind. She had to come up with a different excuse.

 _I’m not good with people. It’s bound to end badly in time_.

_Right._

_So what am I supposed to do? I was going to take him to find Luke Skywalker, but I’m not sure if we’ll find him._

Silence.

_You may. Teach him a few things, maybe you may change your mind._

Rey’s eyelids fluttered open when she heard Kylo shout, “Hey, Jedi Mistress asshole person! I’ve been calling your name for like five minutes.” The girl rolled her eyes.

“What?”

“I’m tired of meditating, show me something else.” He was just as impatient as she was.

“I told you what the plan was,” She said. “Make the lightsaber and then go to Tython.”

“When are we going to get there?”

“A days time.”

“Too long,”

“Fuck off.”

 


	10. Bonding Time

They’d landed on an outer rim planet named D’Qar. A planet that Kylo was actually familiar with when it came to it’s history. The Resistance had a base here, but it had been long since abandoned. Rey reassured him that there was still things that would be of use there. She was right, there was a variety of old ships and guns and other weapons that were just waiting to be fixed up. Rey had been silent for the longest time as they’d scavenged for parts, there was something about her mannerisms that seemed more nervous than usual. She’d found a flask in the dirt inscribed with two letters, H.S. and after taking a swig out of it, she handed it to Kylo. “It could be his,” She said. Kylo stared at it for a few seconds before pocketing it. 

“I wonder how long that liquor has been there,” He joked. 

“I don’t really care,” She sighed. Kylo refrained from asking what was wrong with her at the time. When she’d found what she was looking for she gathered them all in a hurry and laid them out neatly on the floor in front of her. “Okay, come, sit.” He sat adjacent from her, watching Rey take out of her crystal. He mimicked the move. “Meditation does actually serve a purpose,” She said. “You’re going to make a lightsaber. Picture the weapon in your head, you should know what to do after that.” 

For once he didn’t give her a looked skepticism. “Okay,”

“I’ll be there to help you,” She said. “But you can do this,”   With that, Kylo closed his eyes. He likened the feeling inside him to what it felt like learning how to swim, nerve wracking and awkward at first, but almost immediately he’d gotten the hang of it. He’d pictured different things in his mind, but there was one image that he came to rest on. A cross handled saber, one that had vents for three clear streams of plasma. Just like that, it fell into his hands. Rey was sitting down a little further away from him than she’d been before. 

She’d stolen the flask she’d given him again. He looked down at his hand, at the saber, and then to Rey. “Oh shit, you’re done?” She said. “Cool, cool. That was a lot sooner than I thought it would be.”

“How long was I-?” 

“Two hours,”

“That felt like two minutes at best,” 

“You were really down into it,” Rey said, “you even cracked your crystal and everything. Smart though, doing a cross-handled thing, it makes sense.” She smelled of liquor, but she certainly wasn’t acting drunk in the slightest. “Now, I would say let’s get the fuck out of here, but to be honest I am really tired of flying and we have a whole resistance base to ourselves so what do you say we just stay here for a few days?” 

That sounded like a good idea to him. “Do you know if they have any food in here?” 

“Stale rations probably, unless you want to go out in the rain and kill something.” 

“And I’d be correct in presuming that you’re not gonna help with that am I right?” 

“Wow when you say that, you make me sound like an asshole.” She took another swig but made no move to get up. “I’ll give you head if you go kill something.” 

“Got it,”

Kylo didn’t hesitate to say yes. Rey almost wanted to laugh as she watched him go back out into the rain, but then she remembered how sexually repressed he’d been, and she felt bad. 

_ That isn’t your fault,  _ she told herself.  _ That was his mother’s fault, for not allowing her son to grow up in such a way that would let him experience such things.  _

He came back about an hour later with some dead bird Rey’d never seen before. She was going to offer to cook it but he had prepared and cooked it without a word. They found some towels and Kylo draped one over himself. 

They ate in silence, and Kylo stared at her as she left half her meal. “Is it not good?” He asked. 

“No,” she said, “I mean yes, it is good. I just… I don't eat much, you know?” She felt her face threatening to flush with embarrassment as Kylo’s eyes followed her.

“Yeah, sorry. I forgot. We can save the rest for whenever you’re hungry next.” Rey stares at him as he picks up everything, and finds a place for the bird to keep. Something’s tugging at her that she hadn’t felt before. It was confusing. When he was done, he said, 

“So about earlier?” 

“Huh, oh yeah.” She said. “Would you actually like to do it somewhere nicer? Like in a bed or something.” He looked at her again. 

“What’s the special occasion?” 

“Oh, uh. Nothing.” She said, “I just thought ㄧ I thought that it might feel better…” She can’t say it, she can’t say that she wants it. But she does. She wants him, she wants a distraction from the thoughts of how shitty she’s been. It doesn’t help that she can feel every pulse in his throbbing member, that every second that he got hornier, the bond made her hornier in consequence. He nods and they rush to find a bed or even a cot. This time Kylo’s on top, yet he’s oddly gentle. He pins her down into the first bed they found, pressing kisses into her neck. It’s taking incredibly long, and Rey realises he’s teasing her. It’s working a little too well. “Come on, Ren.” She hisses. “I don’t have all day,” 

He nods and they fumble with each other’s clothes. Everything was going great until Rey’s shirt fell to the ground. For a second, he looked down, taking in her body. This was the first time they were both almost completely bare in front of each other. 

Kylo noticed a scar that Rey’d almost completely forgotten about in the moment. “What’s that?” 

“Huh? Oh,” Rey looked down at the small surgical scar near her abdomen. “It’s nothing,” She breathed, “Come on let’s-” She tries to go in and close the gap between the two of them, to kiss him and get him to shut up. 

“Rey, that’s not nothing.” He says. She knows he’s concerned, that she shouldn’t be mad at him for that, but she can’t help it. She pushed herself away from him in the bed. 

“Way to kill the mood,” She grumbled.

“Tell me,” 

“Yeah, you really don’t want to know.” She hissed. 

“Yeah, I do. That’s a surgical scar, not from a weapon or anything in the prison.” Rey stared at him, covering herself up with a stark white sheet they’d found.  _ Why couldn’t he just not notice like every other man ?  _ “Rey,” 

“Do you know what the Outer Rim planet’s jails are like, Ren? The ones that they put you in until you’re to be shipped to the main jail that you took me to.” 

“I’ve heard stories but….” 

“Let’s just say when we met, that wasn’t the first time I’d been in a prison.” She said. “I was caught in an Outer Rim planet,” She said. “My ship ran out of fuel and I tried to trade sex for my freedom like I normally did. Well, after the bounty hunter that got me got what he wanted, he took me in anyways.”

* * *

 

Kylo’s stomach was turning as he heard Rey retell this story. “In the Outer Rim jails, there’s a very specific, but rather barbaric process they have in entering a person into a jail. Five hours of interrogation, and sterilization.” Kylo’s heart sank. 

He knew where the story was going. He watched Rey knead the sheet as she tried to choke it out. “I kicked and screamed and fought so hard,” Her voice was getting hoarse, her fingers working harder at bunching up the sheets in her hands. “I was awake for it all. When it was done… I killed every single person in that jail. Every last one, and I made sure that they suffered too.” 

Silence. 

“How old were you?” 

“Fifteen.” That’s when Kylo’s heart nearly shattered. 

Rey was fifteen when this happened, and she had no choice in the matter. It was wrong, so wrong on so many levels. 

Rey spared him a furtive glance, and made a move to get out of the bed when Kylo said, “Rey, you don’t have to leave.” 

“We’re not going to do anything Kylo, so what would be the point?” 

“I mean, we could, y’know… cuddle? It is cold and we haven’t activated the heaters.” It’ll probably sound stupid to her. She’ll probably say no. 

Her eyes soften, and Kylo hoped that she saw that he was trying to make up for bringing up such an awful memory. “I’ve never cuddled before, Ren.” 

“I’m not much better, only huddled for warmth, but you could still…” Rey squirmed a little bit, and then got back under the covers with him. She was stiff, really stiff, and Kylo thought that maybe the reason for that was because she wasn’t used to being intimate with someone who didn’t have an ulterior motive. 

_ Relax,  _ he pushed through the bond.  _ Close your eyes, just focus on going to sleep.  _

_ How am I supposed to sleep with you this close?  _

He sighed and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her in closer. For a moment, she tensed, but then he pressed a kiss into the back of her shoulder. He couldn’t help but feel a little bit of pride when her tensions eased, and he could feel her mind quiet. “Night, Rey.” He whispered. 

“Night,” She whispered back. 


	11. Confused, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry christmas. This one's for you, Shattered_Reality! Love you, I'm so blessed to have you as a friend, you mean the absolute world to me! Thanks for tolerating me!

That night, Kylo Ren slept better than he had since he’d ran away with Rey. He had tried not to think about it, but the guilt of his years as a bounty hunter ate away at the back of his mind since he’d found out he had the Force. 

Rey’s warmth had quieted those thoughts. Really everything about Rey quieted those thoughts. Kylo thought about everything she’d told him the night before. She’d looked so young then, like a scared girl, and not the fierce and hardened woman he was so used to talking to. It was then that Kylo remembered that she was just fucking nineteen years old. Then he’d made a silent vow that he was going to protect her. Not on the battlefield, she didn’t need that. Emotionally. 

Kylo would try to shield her from as much hardship as possible. 

Rey jerked awake all the sudden, seeing that she was still in his arms. She pushed herself up out of his arms, starting to pick up her clothes off of the floor and get dressed again. “Five lessons,” She said. “Get dressed,” 

“Now?” Kylo groaned. 

“Now,” Rey replied. 

He obeyed, still a little jilted that she had got up in such a way. Then he remembered that Rey only fucked him out of charity, to keep his nerves down so she didn’t have to deal with his nerves later on in the day, she didn’t actually want to deal with intimacy, and he shouldn’t force that on her. 

He felt a little bad for making her feel uncomfortable in that position. 

She was waiting for him by the door, lightsaber in hand. “Ready?” Her voice was short and clipped. 

“What’s our first lesson?” 

“Sparring,” He was used to sparring, he could do this. She motioned her head to the main hallway, “and believe me when I say that you’ve never sparred with lightsabers, so you’re going to want to take this easy.” 

An hour later and Kylo had to stop. Rey kept kicking his ass and he was tired. He didn’t how she even had the energy for it all, because neither of them had eaten anything yet. 

He prepared food for the both of them in their rest time, and they both ate in silence, and then Rey trained him. More and more. He became convinced that she was taking some sort of anger out on him, although he didn’t know why. Rey left him to lift crates and things and basically disappeared. After a while, Kylo got bored and ended up roaming the base looking for her. 

There was nothing better to do after all. 

When he finally found her, she was taking her clothes off. 

_ Of course.  _ She looked over her shoulder, not even phased that he was in the same room. He guessed that he shouldn’t be very embarrassed about seeing her naked either. She had sucked his dick once, and given him a handjob just a day or two ago, and they almost had actual sex last night. Still, he almost felt like it was wrong to look at her like this. “I started one of the ‘freshers.” She explained. “Wanna join?” There it was, that teasing disposition that she usually had when she put her guard back up. 

“Are you sure? I thought you were mad at me.” Rey pulled her pants off and flung them to the side. 

“Water’s waiting, Ren. Our ship doesn’t have a fresher. Your choice.” Of course he joined her. There was no question to it really. 

He stripped— rather awkwardly—and filed in right after Rey. It was almost immediately, as the water ran over them, that Rey pushed Kylo into one of the walls in the ‘fresher, and Kylo nearly slipped. Rey caught him, and then laughed. “Woah, there flyboy. Be careful.” 

It probably wasn’t the best time to say what he was going to say what he said, but he did nonetheless. “You want to do this now, I thought you were mad at me?” 

Rey’s eyes flickered darkly for a second, before she got on her tiptoes. “I want you to fuck me in here right now,” She said. He swallowed and swallowed hard.

“What if I hurt you?” 

“The more pain the better,” She hissed. “Come on, Ren.” Rey smiled, a dark look in her eyes. Tentatively, Kylo kissed her. She reciprocated with something far more harsh and animalistic, and Kylo pushed her into the wall next to him. Part of him cringed as he tried to remember what to do, as if by instinct, he hiked her up a little bit and Rey’s legs fastened around his hips as he entered her. It seemed like the tables had turned, this time he was the one making her moan. Instinctively, he looked into her mind and gauged her reaction, saw what she wanted , and did exactly that. 

This time he didn’t care much about his own orgasm, but rather hers. He’d pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing in circles, trying to get Rey to come with him. 

She did.

_ You’re getting better at this, Ren.  _ She pushed through the bond, and then got off of him.  _ I usually don’t get off so easily.   _ She continued showering like it was nothing. When the two of them got out, Rey said, “We’re going to be leaving tomorrow morning.” She said. “Going to Tython,” 

“Right,” He said. “You okay?” 

Rey pulled her pants up and eyed him. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just gonna work on the ship before tomorrow.” With that, she left again. This time Kylo didn’t try and pursue her. 

* * *

 

The next day was more eased than Kylo thought it was going to be, Rey was rather tired, and frankly so was he. So they packed everything up slowly and then got into their ship. Kylo entered in the coordinates for Tython and they went on their way off of D’Qar. 

It was a while before Rey said, “Do we still have any of that bird left?” 

“Only a little,” 

“I’m hungry.” 

“I’ll go get it for you.” She nodded a simple thank you and watched as he went back and got the food for her. Rey was still having trouble figuring out if she actually liked him or not. 

Kylo was weird to her. More sensitive than anyone she’d ever met, and that didn’t just include men. For some reason, he cared about her. 

She was still trying to figure out why as she ate.  _ Maybe it was because she put out for him,  _ she thought to herself. Then she second guessed herself, because even when she was nothing more than a prisoner to him, he seemed to genuinely feel some sort of concern for her.

It kind of scared her, how easily he’d attached himself to her. And not in the way that it was creepy or unwanted, but in the fact that she wasn’t used to that kind of attention. Especially when they knew so little about each other. She feared that she would let him down,  _ which is fucking stupid, considering she never cared if she let someone down.  _ “Uh, Rey?” 

“Hmm,” 

“I was thinking—” 

“Careful, Ren. Don’t want to hurt yourself.” He stuck his tongue out at her from the other seat. Rey was tempted to laugh. 

“—anyways, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Yes, I was thinking… about what you said.” Oh god, she hoped he wasn’t going to make her bring up  _ those  _ memories again. “And I think, that we should stop it.” 

“Stop what?” She turned in the pilot’s seat to stare at him, blankly.

“All this shit, this unjust shit with force users being illegal.” 

She wanted to stop that too, but that was a rather idealistic notion. “What are you saying?” She asked. 

“I think, that when you feel like I’ll be of better use to you. We should go for the jails, and free everyone.” She was going to make some snarky remark about how not long ago, Kylo had believed that all force users would be jailed. It was such a dramatic turn. Then she thought better of it. She’d seen this man’s thoughts, even when he’d tried to block them from her. The guilt of hunting down his own kind was making him miserable. 

She’d never admit it, but there were sometimes she would siphon off his nightmares when he was asleep, to let him get a better rest. 

“What made you think of that?”

“I want to do something right,” He said. “I think you might be the person who can help me achieve that,” Rey looked down, her breathing hitched momentarily. She hoped he wouldn’t see it.  _ Kriffing hell,  _ she thought to herself,  _ if I say yes to this, how could I live with leaving him behind?  _ “Please?” 

It was hard to meet his eye, but she did. “Let me think about it, okay?” He nodded. That was reasonable, but still, she could tell he was disappointed. Kylo told her he was going to go back and get a small nap, patting her on the shoulder once before leaving the cockpit. She was left with nothing to do, really. So she awkwardly kicked her feet back and forth in the seat before leaning back and closing her eyes. 

Maybe she could get as restful of a sleep as she got two nights ago when they cuddled.

* * *

 

_ Kylo’s dreams were always intense. Very intense. This was different, for some reason. Similar to how he had seen Rey in her prison room. His mother was arguing with a bunch of councilmen and women about a plea bargain. Kylo saw Rey’s holo flash up before them, and then heard the words, “Shoot to kill,” and “Shoot on sight,” and surprisingly, his mother voted against it.  _

_ Then he was in the hallway, following her back to her room, except it wasn’t her room. It was his. She’d opened it and looked around to make sure that no one else was there, and then tensed. For a second Kylo thought she might have sensed that  he was there, but he couldn’t really be sure.  _

_ The both of them entered, “Oh Ben,” his mother had picked up one of his shirts and held it to her chest. “What trouble have you gotten into?”  _

_ “I don’t know,” He couldn’t help saying aloud, “why don’t you tell me? What trouble have I gotten into mother?” His mother turned, turning white.  _

_ “You’re-”  _

_ So she could see him. Interesting.  _

_ “I’m here. It’s weird, I guess the force wanted me to be here.” Leia cringed at that. The implied, ‘but I didn’t want to be here.’ was obvious.  _

_ “Ben, I-”  _

_ “You don’t get to use Ben.” Kylo told her. “I don’t trust you, remember? You use Kylo, or criminal, or something to that matter. I will not pretend to be your son after some of the things that you’ve done.”  _

_ “Be- Kylo, listen. You can still come back, you can still return to your place, I’ve struck a deal with the council. If you turn Rey in, you can come back and we can sweep this all under the rug.” Kylo couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  _

_ “What?” _

_ “If you turned that criminal that you ran off with in, you can come back, and everything will be forgiven.” Kylo swallowed and swallowed hard. It hurt, so much, to think of what he was about to say to his mother. No… After what she did she didn’t get the luxury of him worrying about her feelings.  _

_ “Back to hunting my own kind, right?” He said sourly.  _

_ “You wouldn’t have to stay a bounty hunter. We can get you a job doing something else in the government, something that doesn’t require such violence.”  _

_ “And what of Rey?”  _

_ His mother was silent. He knew just what that meant.  _

_ “She would be scheduled for execution,” Kylo said. He was getting angry now, “You would put a nineteen year old girl who’s been fucked over by the system in the electric chair, and you would watch her die, happily. Wouldn’t you?” Leia didn’t say anything. “Yes, you would. Wouldn’t you? Well I’m tired of seeing people jailed or killed for no reason.”  _

_ “Why do you care about this criminal so much?”  _

_ He avoided the question. “Do you know the Outer Rim jails performs unsanctioned sterilisations on women? Without their consent?” She didn’t say anything again. Of course, because she knew. “She was fifteen mom, fifteen.”  _

_ “That doesn’t answer my question, Ben.”  _

_ “I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY MY NAME AGAIN!” With that the force cracked and whipped around them, and Kylo could feel their bond disintegrating. With one last burst of anger, he said, “If anyone touches her, I will kill them. That includes you.”  _

* * *

 

“Ren!” Rey called his name. He woke up in fire, and felt his body drag forward as Rey pulled him out. Kylo was more aware of his surroundings than ever. They were on another planet, and their ship was going up in flames. Rey had both of their lightsabers fastened to her belt. He coughed when his feet hit the ground, and he turned back towards their ship. 

“What happened?”

“You,” Rey stated. “You were having a nightmare, or something, tore off a wing in your sleep, and we spiralled towards Tython.”

He felt a wave of embarrassment run over him, but Rey quickly quelled it. “We can get a new ship.” she said. “Come on, we have some temples to defile.” She winked at him as she started walking away from the wreckage. “Come on, Ren. Haven’t got all night.” 

“Are we gonna fuck in a temple?” 

“If you play your cards right.” Kylo forgot about the ship, and his mother, running to catch up with her. 

“Can’t wait.” 


	12. you doubt yourself, but i don't doubt you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is a short and shitty update, but I haven't updated for a hot second and wanted to get something else, writers block is a bitch! Anyways, I hope you're all having great holidays and I love you all!

Rey talked of the great Jedi temples of Tython with excitement, telling Kylo that she couldn’t wait for him to see it. That for a while, it was almost like she had a home in these temples. 

Of course, Rey shouldn’t have expected a happy return to the temples she memorised Jedi texts in as a kid.  _ No, that was childish of her to think.  _ She stood in front of a very large pile of rubble and ash and she found her blood boiling. She turned away and started walking the three miles it took to get to the city. “Forget everything I told you,” She said. 

Kylo started following her. “What?”

“Forget everything I told you, about training, about the temple. I’m done.”

Now he was really trying to catch up to her. “Rey,”

“I am done, and I need a fucking drink.” 

“Rey, we can get you a drink, but you promised—” 

“I don’t care what I promised!” She shouted, turning on him violently. “Don’t you see that? I have no clue about what I’m doing!” He flinched, then opened his mouth to speak. She wasn’t done yet, though. “And you don’t make it any better!” She pushed at him, he didn’t push back. “You and your stupid porg eyes and your want to not be lonely, your want to get to know me even when I’ve given you no reason to, it’s all stupid okay? It’s stupid! I don’t want to be part of any of it!” She turned again, heading up to the city. 

“So that’s it then?” He called after her. “Forget the training, what about the thousands of people like us that are constantly hunted down and jailed for something that isn’t their fault?” 

“Not my problem!” She shouted back. 

“It is your problem! And it’s my problem! You can’t tell me you don’t care about them, I’ve seen your head, Rey.” He grabbed her by the arm and turned her around. “You can’t just call it quits because something bad happened Rey, look back there. Look at the ruins of the temple, you know who did this? The people I used to work for! Don’t use your grief of destruction as the reason to quit, use it as your reason to fight.” He was looming over her now, and Rey’s heart started beating faster than it normally did. 

“Ren,” 

“No, Rey, listen! I’m not going to let you quit, I’m not going to leave.” 

Kylo stopped when he heard clapping behind them both, he turned and Rey could see better. One of the bounty hunters that he used to work with, and a bunch of others too. 

They were surrounded. “Ah, we had some reports of disturbances around here, and look at how easy it was to find you both, out in the open.” The woman Ren used to work with said through her mask. Rey instantly moved closer to him, until they were so close they touched. His lightsaber was clipped to her belt. 

_ Well this is gonna be fun.  _ Kylo reached for his saber, his fingers lacing between Rey’s belt and the sharp protrusion of her hip bone. He unclipped it. “Ah, Phasma.” He said. “To what do I owe the displeasure?” 

“Your mother has ordered a warrant for your safe arrest and return.” She said. “So sorry to have to do this but, the reward she’s offering is enough for me to retire—” Before she could say anything else, Rey threw the lightsaber right at her. She caught it right before it hit square in the middle of her mask. “What’s thi—” With the crook of her finger, Rey’s lightsaber ignited, the purple beam of plasma effectively killing her in seconds. She crumpled to the floor and Rey called her lightsaber back to her. 

“Okay, that was hot.” 

“Keep your dick in your pants,” She said, “there’s about to be a bloodbath.” They were still out in the open, with no cover, and thirteen bounty hunters surrounding them. 

“How are we gonna get out of this?” Kylo asked as they dodged a blaster bolt. 

“We need a sandbag!” 

“We don’t have a sandbag!” 

Then Ren remembered Phasma’s body, it was evident. He jutted his hand out and pulled it in, just in time to block a bolt that would’ve killed Rey. “Thanks,” She said. 

Kylo smirked and threw her body as far he could into a few of the hunters that blocked their way to the city. As the others came into attack, Rey got a look in her eyes. “So, about the teaching…” 

“Shut up,” She said. They both swerved, Rey pierced the armour of one of the bounty hunters to her side, and Ren tried not to think about how he used to work with these people. “I’ll keep working with you a little longer.” She said, “But you’re getting me drinks first.” 


	13. I thought you knew I was a bitch

“So,” Kylo had been trying to figure out what to say for the past few hours. They’d been hanging low, looking for ships to steal as Rey stole people’s credits for liquor. “I guess you’ll have to stay with me a little bit longer.” 

 

“Don’t push it,” Rey smirked. She was in a better mood than she had been a few hours ago, or maybe she wasn’t happy at all. Maybe she was just putting on that suggestive front to keep him from getting under her skin again. 

 

It was so damn irritating, but Kylo had to remember just who he was talking to. Rey came from a place of unimaginable pain, he knew that much. He just wished he would stop taking it so personally when she pushed him away, but something about the way she spoke just kept carving into him. “What’s the plan for getting off of Tython?” He asked. 

 

Rey counted the amount of credits she head before heading into a cantina and purchasing a whole bottle before heading back out with Kylo right behind her. “To be honest,” She said, “I haven’t got the fucking faintest clue.” She often didn’t have a clue what she was going to do, which made Kylo wonder how she was even still alive. 

 

She took a swig of her whiskey, not bothering to ask him if he wanted anything. “Are you sure that you should be drinking when bounty hunters around the area are most likely aware of our position?” 

 

“Yes,” She said. “Imminent death is the perfect excuse for a drink.” She took another swig of whiskey and started walking down the street of the marketplace. “Besides, this is your next lesson.” Kylo tensed. 

 

“What?” 

 

“This is you next lesson.” Rey repeated. “Use the Force, get us off this planet.” 

 

“That’s really specific Rey, what the hell am I supposed to do?” She was gone. Kylo cursed under his breath as he looked around for her. There was nothing left to do but fend for himself, he guessed. Or find a ship and get out of here. 

 

_ Wait,  _ he thought to himself.  _ She was gone because she already found the ship.  _ This was a test. Kylo didn’t appreciate it very much, but he got its purpose. The only problem was that he couldn’t use the Force in order to find a ride out here in the middle of a busy market section. 

 

_ Of course, you can.  _ Rey was in his mind again, but she was blocking her location.  _ The Force isn’t just this flashy thing you use to get me wet, if you use it right, no one will realize what you’re doing.  _ He wasn’t sure if that was reassurance or if he was being taunted by her. Either way, he had to figure out what to do. 

 

_ I don’t appreciate being left high and dry like this, Rey.  _

_ Look at the bright side,  _ He could practically feel the intoxication through their bond,  _ if you get to me before you’re shot and killed by bounty hunters, I’ll give you the best head you’ll ever experience.  _ He could feel that smirk too. 

 

That smirk that had gotten him into so much trouble. 

 

Kylo couldn’t believe she had him trapped in the way that she did. He went back to earlier, when she was talking about leaving him. How he had panicked and tried to do anything to get her to stay. Phasma was just a coincidence, but a good one at that. 

 

Kylo closed his eyes, first looking for Rey though the bond, but she was good at masking her location. In fact, she had completely closed her side, leaving him blind on her side. He panicked. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He muttered under his breath. 

Hopefully he didn’t die.

 

* * *

 

Rey had drunk the whole bottle when Kylo came back to the ship. “How the fuck are you not dead?” He said when they took off. 

 

“You’re a fucking lightweight.” She hissed. 

 

“Your kidneys are going to fail.”

 

“The Force is with me.”

 

“That’s not how the force works.” He growled at her. 

 

“Oh, what? Are you mad?” 

 

“Yes, because you  _ abandoned me!”  _ Rey winced. 

 

“That was really loud.” She hissed. “I was just teaching you a lesson.” 

 

“Well I almost got shot at.” 

 

“Oh, boohoo you little bitch.” She slurred. “I’ve spent the last nineteen years of my life getting shot at every single day with no one looking out for me, no one telling me it was going to be okay, and no one comforting me at night when I was hiding from fucking bounty hunters and couldn’t fall asleep.” She got up from the co-pilot’s seat. “You need to learn that too. Because while I might be staying longer, I’m not gonna be here forever. It’s just practical.” 

 

* * *

Rey woke up two days later and Kylo was staring at her, rather annoyed. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Did you sleep off your alcohol?” He asked. 

 

“Are you still bitter at me for my lesson?” 

 

“Yeah, it was kind of an asshole thing to do.” 

 

“Well, newsflash.” her hand jutted out and Kylo flew to the ground. “I am an asshole.” She got up from her bed as he tried to get up, planting her foot on his chest. “Stand down, soldier.” Rey hissed. She could feel it coming from him. The sexual frustration. 

 

“Make me,” He hissed. He grabbed her by the leg, catching her head right before she hit the floor, he got on top of her, straddling her. Rey laughed. They were essentially play fighting. She burst out laughing. He’d pinned her arms above her head and was staring down at her. 

 

There was a look in his eye… It was dark. She liked it. “Kylo,” Her breath was hot and heavy. “Fuck me?” She asked. He leaned over, kissing her neck, teeth occasionally nipping at her skin. His hands moved from her wrists to toying at her sides, pulling down the band of her pants very slowly. It was agonizing. “Fuck, Kylo! Come on!” She’s about to help him take her pants the rest of the way up when he gets up from being on top of her. 

 

“No,” He says.

 

“What?” Rey’s mood immediately sours.

 

“No.” He said. “I’m still mad at you.”

 

“What was that for then?” She started pulling up her pants and getting up. He was walking for the door. 

 

“I’m sorry, Rey. But I need to be trained, I don’t need you sleeping for two days after a fight and then immediately wanting sex afterwards.” They both walked out into the hallway of the ship. “And you promised you were going to teach me.”

 

Rey rolled her eyes, “Well you want to know something, Ben?” He flinched at the use of the name.  _ Good,  _ Rey thought,  _ it’s what he got for being a proper twat.  _

 

He turned, stopping right in front of her. “What?!” He shouted. 

 

“ _ The fucking Jedi Order couldn’t be fucking bothered to teach the kriffing annoying ass force sensitive children so they just died on them and their pupils had to wing it from there! So maybe  _ when I’m teaching you, you should be a little more grateful that I teach your annoying ass at all! I’d rather be on Jakku than with you!” She shouted. “God! You are so annoying!” 

 

Ren softened. “Rey, I’m-”

 

“Save it.” She said. “Fuck all the other planets. Set course for Ach-To. It'll take about four weeks to get there from here but I won’t kill you until then. As for our lessons? They resume after you’re done.”


	14. just give me some candy...before I go

Rey sat down in the copilots seat and turned to him. “I think fighting with you is more annoying than whatever we have before.” She said. “So we should stop fighting,”

 

It had only been five minutes. 

 

He let her wait ten minutes before he said, “That’s not an apology.” 

 

“I don’t apologize.” She sat back in her seat and put her boots on the dash. Kylo eyed her. 

 

“Don’t do that.” He frowned, “It’s rude.” 

 

“You are such a buzzkill,” Rey laughed. “And apologies are bullshit. Just like love confessions are bullshit.” Kylo shrugged and leaned back in his seat as well. 

 

“Then don’t expect an apology from me.” 

 

“I wasn’t.” She said. 

 

“Oh?” 

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“Because I already forgave you.” She grinned.  _ God damn it,  _ Kylo thought to himself,  _ not again.   _

 

“So, about the lessons.” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“What are we going to do?” She asked.

 

* * *

 

“No,” Leia said, “I won’t have it.” 

 

“There are not enough votes for a junction, Miss.” Poe said.

 

“How many votes do we have against the new laws that are going onto the Senate floor?” 

 

“Yours,” Poe said, “And mine.”  _ Shit.  _

 

She said that aloud, she was pretty sure, because Poe chuckled at her like he did whenever she used questionable language. “Okay.” Leia said. “Remember your first years as a senator when we did all night filibusters?” 

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“Get ready for a rather long filibuster.” She couldn’t prevent the kill on sight order for her son or the girl he insisted on tagging along with, but she would damn well try and delay it as much as possible. “Go, get to the floor. I’ll be right behind you.” 

 

_ “I know you would be here,”  _ She said when Poe was out of earshot. She turned to see her brother standing in front of her. “ _ What is it that you want?”  _

 

“ _ You’ve gotten cold in your old age.”  _ Luke laughed. “ _ But I’m glad you’re finally trying to do what’s right,”  _

 

“ _ I’ve always tried to do what’s right.”  _

 

Luke rolled his eyes, she hated it, but she was too tired to be mad. “ _ Right. Anyways, I wanted to tell you he’s close. Four weeks away.” _

 

“ _ I need him to be there sooner. _ ”

 

“ _ Well, I can’t alter time.” _ He sighed, “ _ although who knows with the girl he’s with.”  _

 

“ _ You know of the girl.”  _

 

“ _ Of course I know of the girl, Leia. She’s the most wanted by the Republic. Everyone knows her, she’ll be running for the rest of her life thanks to you. You know she was an innocent child once. Like Ben was.”  _ Leia was silent.  _ “And of course, the Force willed it that she come here. She was always meant to come to Ach-To, just as your son is too. _ ” 

 

He didn’t hide their location. Perhaps she trusted that if she decided to reunite with her son, she wouldn’t bring anyone else with her. 

 

“ _ I’ve seen the feeds of the two of them fighting. _ ” Leia said. “ _ She protects him _ .” 

 

“ _ So what do you think that means you should do? _ ”

 

“ _ Apologize. _ ”

 

“ _ Right. _ ” The bond disintegrated. 

* * *

 

Rey had kicked his ass…

Again. 

 

Kylo wasn’t going to pretend it didn’t turn him on, though. He was past the days of repressing sexual desire. It served him good too. He was happier, and Rey was always happy to oblige when he needed it. 

 

Rey and him had gotten a lot closer in the past four hours than they had been before, and Kylo was happy for it. 

 

They stopped for fuel at a nearby planet and Kylo slipped away, planning a surprise for Rey. When he came back, Rey was waiting by the ship, bored. “Your walk was rather long.” She yawned. 

 

“Yeah. Sorry. I saw something that I had to get.” He held a small box behind him, and Rey was curious about what was behind his back. “For you, actually.” 

 

“For me?”

 

“Yeah, as a sorry for being a dick and faking you out on a sex, present.” 

 

“I thought you said you weren’t going to apologize.” 

 

“I’m not. It’s just… a gift that I wanted you to have.” He hands over the box and she opens it. A neat array of chocolates stared back at her. She looked up to him and back down at them again.

 

“What’s this?” 

 

She wasn’t joking. “It’s chocolate.” 

 

“I’ve heard about chocolate before but…” She picked one up. “You didn’t have to-” 

 

“-I wanted to.” He watched Rey bite into her first chocolate tenderly. It was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. She broke out into a smile, put the lid back on the chocolate box and gestured for him to come closer. He did, and then she surprised him. She hugged him. 

 

“Thank you, Ren.” She pulled back, giggling as she took out another chocolate. This time devouring it whole. “Come on. Let’s get back on the ship.” 

* * *

 

_ It was late that night when he visited his mother. Neither of them could see each other’s locations, but he preferred it that way. He was still mad at her. “Ben,” She called out. He still shuddered at that name, it was not for her to use. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”  _

 

_ “Sorry for what.”  _

  
  


_ “There are things going on in Senate that I cannot prevent from happening, a kill order for you and Rey. I’ve managed to delay it for now.”  _

 

_ “How am I supposed to believe you?” _

 

_ “Search your feelings. You know it’s true.” She said.  _

 

_ He did.  _

 

_ “And that’s not all. This...freelancer, he calls himself Armitage Hux. He said he’s working on a machine, one that will kill all Force Sensitives.”  _

 

_ “What?”  _

 

_ “I’m trying to keep the okay for him to continue building it out of the Senate floor. I don’t know what will happen now.” With that, the bond disintegrated. _


	15. close but never there

Rey woke up screaming for the first time in a while, tangling in her sheets as she tried to bring her heartbeat down. Rey had been privy to the end of the conversation that Kylo and his mother had. Although neither of them seemed to notice her presence, she got the information that she needed. When Leia and Kylo’s bond time ended, the scene changed. 

 

There was a man—a ginger man in a dark uniform—overseeing a project. The machine that Leia had spoken of earlier. That face… It was familiar. Too familiar. He turned and Rey felt like she was going to throw up. “You,” Of course he couldn’t hear her, but that didn’t stop the string of obscenities she shouted at him. He was the one who sterilized her. She’d kill him. She would enjoy killing him too. 

 

Then the scene changed again, and she was watching Kylo sleep in his bed, except it wasn’t his bed on the ship. It was his old room back at the Senate. Then she saw it. Someone else, the light of an electric staff igniting over him. He woke up then… He looked so scared. 

 

That’s when she woke up, screaming and trying to catch her breath. For a moment, she had tried to go back to sleep, but to no luck. 

 

Rey got up, heading over to Kylo’s room. He was still asleep. She walked in, letting the door slide closed behind her. She didn’t say a thing. She didn’t wake him. Rey laid down in the small spot by his side on the bed, and closed her eyes again. 

 

Like she’d thought, she could feel his subconscious ease through the bond, right before she fell asleep. 

* * *

Kylo woke up in the middle of the night, short of breath. He was about to thrash around, or get up, when he saw her. Rey was next to him on the bed, sleeping heavily. His unease fell away as he smiled down at the girl. Kylo fell back on the pillow, staring at her. 

 

Part of him wanted to reach out and touch her, but he knew that if he woke her up that she would leave, and he didn’t want that. 

 

He just wanted her to stay. 

* * *

 

Rey woke up to see that Kylo was still asleep, much to her relief, she left after that. She needed to get to Ach-To, she couldn’t deal with this much longer. The more she was up, the more she started to regret what she did last night, the more she began to question why she even cared. 

 

She shouldn’t care. 

 

She never cared. 

 

Why was this any different? She didn’t want it to be any different. “You okay?” Kylo sat down in the co-pilot seat. 

 

“Yeah,”

 

“You looked tired. Did you get enough sleep?”

 

“I told you that I’m fine, okay? Just...stop.” He did as she told him to, thankfully. “We’re going to be there in a couple of days.” Rey said. 

 

“We are?”

 

“Yeah,”

 

Kylo was silent for a minute before he said, “What do you think he’ll think of me?” 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, if Luke Skywalker is even still alive, what do you think he’ll think of me?”

 

_ Oh. _

 

“I don’t know, Ren. Is it really that important?”

 

“I guess not, it’s kind of stupid. Sorry.”

 

“I mean, it’s not like you care what I think of you.”

 

Pause. 

 

“But I do.”

 

Rey tensed. “You shouldn’t.”

 

More silence. 

 

_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  _ Why did he have to do this? Why? Why couldn’t he just be a boring asshole who wanted nothing to do with her? God she hated him so much. 

 

“Sorry, it was a stupid question.”

 

“It-It’s fine.” Her hands were shaking. “I don’t really care though.” Kylo sighed, and she eased up as she could feel his feelings of anger and irritation through the bond. 

 

“Of course.” He said. “Have you ever cared?”

 

“No,” she gritted her teeth. It was a lie. She could survive when she was lying though. “I have never cared about you or anyone, including myself.” The last bit was true. She didn't care about herself… that’s why she hated the fact that she was starting to care about him. 

 

“Then why have you traveled with me all this way?”

 

Silence. 

 

****

* * *

 

That night Kylo broke Rey's cot. They hadn’t had sex in a hot minute, and Rey seemed to want to do something to get her mind off the conversation they had had earlier. It was over fast, and impersonal, despite the fact that Kylo hadn’t finished.

 

_ Another way to rub it  in,  _ he thought. 

 

“No,” she said. “It’s not that.” Rey got up. “We’re near Ach-To.” 

 

“Oh,” 

 

Rey looked a little too excited for this, but Kylo decided not to question it. “I’m going to land and then I’ll let you finish. Stay there.” 

 

“Yeah.” He sighed as she walked out on him, partially clothed. Something in him was on edge. He wasn’t sure he wanted to go to Ach-To anymore. 


	16. this is where i leave you

They had landed.

 

Kylo wasn’t exactly sure what to do as he got up and got dressed. He could feel a different sort of energy that radiated from this planet, a different energy that radiated off of Rey as well. “You ready?” She asked.  _ No. I really am not.  _ He wished that Rey was still teaching him things, then maybe he would be a little more impressive to his supposed uncle.  _ If he was even alive.  _

 

“Yes,” Rey smiled. Something she rarely ever did.  _ Something was up.  _ “Let’s go.” The island was green, very green. Kylo could smell the bitter salt of an ocean and could feel water spray him from not far away. 

 

“If you want me to, I’ll go ahead and see what’s up.” Rey said. She seemed really eager, for some reason. At the time, Kylo didn’t question it. He didn’t really want to know if his uncle was alive or not. He nodded. 

 

* * *

 

Rey knew exactly where Luke Skywalker was. Hopefully, he was going to be helpful. She hoped to any benevolent being out there that he would be helpful. Rey found herself climbing stairs for what seemed like forever before she reached her destiny. He was waiting for her on the clifftop. She didn’t wait for him to turn around when she said, “Your nephew’s down on the shore and he needs a teacher.”

 

It was straightforward, really. What more could she say? 

 

The man turned around. Luke Skywalker was definitely a man of legend, there was a mysterious look in his eyes, one of familiarity. Something that she couldn’t quite place. The years on the island had not done him justice though. He seemed more worn down than anything. “Are you just going to stand there or say something to me?” 

 

“No.” 

 

Rey blinked. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I said no.” 

 

It was at this point that Rey considered flinging this man into the ocean, and then herself. He started walking the opposite way, and Rey had no choice but to follow him. She didn’t give up that easy. “Excuse me, pardon my language, but what in the ever kriffing fuck? Do you know how far we’ve traveled to get here?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then why did you just immediately reject him? You haven’t even seen him yet.” She wondered if he could tell why she wanted Luke to teach him. 

 

“Perhaps it’s because I have no idea if you’re telling the truth and he really is my nephew or you’re pulling my leg. Second of all, do you really not blame me for trusting the word of a hardened criminal?” Rey sighed. 

 

“You know who I am.” 

 

“I’ve known you for a while, Rey.” 

 

“He’s down there. Use the force. I’m not lying.”

 

Pause. 

 

Rey wanted to rip her hair out. 

 

Why wasn’t he talking?

 

“I know.” He laughed. “You need to learn when someone’s pulling your leg. Of course I’ll teach him, I just want to know why you’re going to stop teaching him.” Rey blinked several times. What was she supposed to say?  _ Because your nephew is scaring me.  _ She went for the other thing instead.

 

“I’m no teacher.” She said. “Never have been never will.” 

 

“And why’s that?”

 

“Because I have no idea what I’m doing.” She admitted. 

* * *

 

Kylo didn’t know how long Rey had been up there, but when she came down she was fuming. “He’ll teach you.” She said. 

 

“What’s wrong with you?” He had to refrain from laughing. Rey always looked kind of adorable when she was frustrated for some reason. 

 

“Your uncle is worse than talking to women than you are.”

 

“Thank you?” He moved to talk up, but Rey sat down next to him on the boulder he’d been waiting on. She looked so tired, more tired than he had ever seen her before, if that was possible. “But I don’t think living alone on a deserted planet for twenty something years has really done him any good in that respect.” Rey rolled her eyes. She knew that he was right. 

 

“He’ll be a good teacher for you, you know. If you let him.” Kylo nodded.

 

“You’re just as good a teacher.” 

 

“Kylo-” 

 

“Also nicer to look at,” 

 

“ _ Kylo-” _

 

* * *

 

Rey wished that this were easier. She wished that Kylo’s stupid face didn’t make her feel things and she wished to hell and back that he was still as much of an asshole as he used to be. He wasn’t though. That scared the shit out of her. “I mean, I’m just saying…”

 

“I know what you’re doing.” She told him. “Stop.” 

 

“Sorry, I pushed too hard, didn’t I?” Rey nodded. “Sorry.” Something about the way she said that tugged at her heart in ways that she didn’t understand.  _ Maybe, for one minute, you should indulge him.  _ It might be easier that way. Rey turned a little, just enough so she could kiss him. It wasn’t the usual harsh kiss that she provided. 

 

This one was softer, and for a second, more heartfelt. 

 

She pulled away from him. 

 

“What was that?”

 

“What do you mean?” Rey felt like she was going to blush. She never blushed.  

 

“That wasn’t a kiss. That felt more like a goodbye.”  _ Shit.  _

 

“I think that you’re overthinking things, flyboy.” He nodded and she got up. “Come on, it’s time for you to go meet your uncle.”

 

* * *

 

Kylo meeting his uncle went a lot better than he expected. Luke had given him a hug and asked him how he was, how he ended up discovering he had the force, and his mother’s reaction to it all. They had spent most of the night talking about things and catching up. Kylo noticed that Rey hung back in the corner as much as possible, trying to not pay attention to either of them. 

 

He was tempted to ask her what was going but then thought better of it. He would just get deflections from her. 

 

So he talked to his uncle until he said that he should retire for the night. He told Rey and Kylo of the specific hut that they could stay in. “We should go to bed.” Kylo said. “I’ll take the floor.” Rey was standing still, staring at the night sky, at the moons shining down on the water. “Rey?” 

 

“It’s peaceful here.” She said. 

 

“Yeah, I guess. If you like the fact that there’s literally no people here.” 

 

“I mean, yeah. I kind of do. No noise. No anger. No danger.” Kylo wasn’t sure what to say at this point. “Wouldn’t you like that? Living alone where no one can bother you.” 

 

“Not really,” He admitted. “I hated it back at the Republic.” Rey nodded and then shook her head. 

 

“Sorry, I’m just tired.” 

 

“Let’s go to bed.”

 

“You don’t have to take the floor. I’ll do that tonight.” 

 

“No, Rey.” 

 

“Don’t argue.” 

 

“Rey,” 

 

“I’m taking the floor, Kylo.” 

 

“But-” 

 

“Stop.” She said as they entered the hut. She flattened herself against the ground and grinned up at him. “The floor is taken.” 

 

* * *

 

It was well past midnight when Rey was sure that Kylo was asleep, and she got up and grabbed her pack and her lightsaber. She was about to leave the hut when she looked back at his sleeping form. He looked so peaceful.

 

Rey walked back to him and kneeled down so she could see him better. Despite herself, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’re better off without me.” 

 

With that, she left. 

 


	17. the way you hurt me

When Kylo woke up, Rey wasn’t in the hut. He thought that she’d probably gotten up to work on the ship or something. He walked out, actually well rested. He could see the shore from where he was. 

 

The ship was gone. 

 

* * *

 

Rey had ended up on Jedha because she didn’t have any more fuel, but that was fine. Jedha was practically uninhabited since the Death Star had been tested on it. 

 

Rey found that perfect. Maybe she could finally get some peace and quiet away from everyone else now. It didn’t take long for her to get to work, building a hut for her to live in. 

 

It was funny, not having Ren there, but she knew that with time she would be able to think clearly like she had before he came into her life. Rey actually felt excited at the prospect of being alone again. The thought was soothing. 

 

That lasted for about a day and a half. Rey had gone outside to see if she still had any food rations in her ship when she came out to see a medium sized wooden box right outside her hut. She stopped. 

 

_ What the fuck? _

 

She knew that box wasn’t there before. Rey opened it, expecting something explosive to kill her, but instead she was greeted with a canteen, some wafer like circles with what looked like chocolate in them, and some dried meat. 

 

The first thing she thought was that someone was trying to poison her, so she kicked it to the side and went to her ship to see if there was any rations.  _ Shit.  _ She would have to risk getting poisoned. Rey hadn’t remembered the last time she ate, was it a few days ago?  _ Oops. It was.  _

 

Rey went back and grabbed the box, taking it inside the hut. “If I die, I’m going to be pissed.” She said to herself.

 

Rey grabbed the canteen, uncapping it and sniffing the contents. She was pretty sure it was just water, so she tentatively took a sip, and then waited for a second. She hadn’t died yet. For some reason, Rey felt a little disappointed. Next came the wafer things, Rey remembered the smell of the chocolate that Kylo had given her, but also the stomach ache that had come after it. 

 

She couldn’t stomach fancy things. She bit off a small piece of it and enjoyed the chocolate morsels on the inside. 

 

She put the rest back inside the box and ate all the dried meat that was in the box. That was something that she could stomach. Still, the sudden abundance of food made her feel a bit queasy. 

 

Rey drank more of the water that was given to her. When the water was gone she placed the canteen back in the box and threw it back outside, far enough away from her campsite that no one could get too close to her, but she would be able to see the person who delivered this to her hut through the singular window she had. 

 

Rey finally resorted to laying down to ease the nausea she was being affected by. She needed to sleep anyways. 

* * *

 

Luke had told Kylo that Rey had left in the middle of the night. “And you didn’t stop her?” Kylo was almost borderline yelling. He didn’t notice the unease in the Force, warping and flickering around him in a fit of momentary anger. 

 

“Oh, I didn’t know it was my job to help you with your love life.” Luke had shot back at him. “Now, I’m here to teach you. At the moment you both did nothing more than distract each other.”

 

“I don’t care about distraction. I want her back.”

* * *

 

When Rey woke up she felt like throwing up most of her food. She kept it down. Rey was about to go back to sleep when she heard a noise outside. 

 

Whoever had put that box by her door had returned. Rey grabbed her lightsaber and went outside. “Hey!” She shouted. 

 

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. She was sure that it wouldn’t be a girl about her age, grabbing the box, and turning around with wide eyes. The girl stopped when she saw Rey, which she thought was odd. Most people saw a lightsaber and ran the other direction. She blinked several times and then said, “It is you.” 

 

“What?” That wasn’t something she was expecting to here. The girl with the box edged a little bit closer to her, and Rey wasn’t sure if she could keep her lightsaber ignited or extinguish it, she backed up a little bit.

 

“You’re her, aren’t you? The Republic’s most wanted criminal, Rey. The most powerful known force user in the galaxy.” Rey wasn’t sure if she should make a break for it or not. 

 

“What of it?” 

 

“You can help them,” 

 

“That doesn’t make any sense.” 

 

“Sorry, right. My name is Paige.” The girl came closer, extending her free hand out to Rey. Rey didn’t take it. “Right. Sorry. I uh… it’s difficult to explain.” 

 

“Explain now,” 

 

Paige gulped, and had the sense to backup a bit. “I run a refuge for force users about ten miles east, they worship you there. They really do, you give them hope. When someone said that you had dropped down here I had to see if it was you or not. I decided that I should give you food first as like, a present you know, so you would trust me.” Rey narrowed her eyes, she’d poked through her mind momentarily. She wasn’t lying. “They need a teacher.” 

 

Rey turned around, “Yeah, no. That’s not happening.” 

 

“What? Why not?” Rey was already turning back to her hurt when Paige got in front of her. Rey was suddenly regretting extinguishing her lightsaber. Paige held a taser in front of her. 

 

“Oh, so now you’re threatening me?” 

 

She’d been tased way too much in the past month and a half, and she didn’t want to relive the prison. “No, I’m just waving a weapon in front of you so you’ll listen to me more.” She said. “You’ve never even seen them, won’t you at least meet with them? It would cheer them up a lot,” The way this girl was talking about them made them sound like these people at the Refuge were children. “A lot of them are recently orphaned, they need someone to tell them that it’s going to be okay. Someone to put their hope in.” 

 

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck! Why couldn’t she get a few days of fucking peace and  _ __ _ quiet?  _ Rey knew that she would probably regret this later, but she took a deep breath in and sighed. “I’ll go and meet with them tomorrow,” She said, “but after that there is no other guarantees.” 

 

Paige dropped the taser and pressed her lips together, suppressing a smile. “Thank you, so much for this.” When Paige stepped forward to hug her, Rey turned her lightsaber back on. She got the message. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Rey.” 

* * *

 

At first, Kylo had waited around for her to come back, or at least to see her in some form through the force bond. When it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, Luke had insisted that he practice meditating. 

 

After everything that had happened in the last two days, he needed to focus himself again. But it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, he kept going back to Rey, and how she was doing. He didn’t know if she was alive or not, if she was injured. He didn’t know what to do. Kylo mostly found himself heartbroken and tired and lost. 

 

He was going to meditate when it happened again. He could sense her in the back of his head, and the more he tried, the more he was able to pry open that little crack in the bond. He could see her, sitting alone somewhere he wasn’t sure, but she was meditating. She looked beautiful as ever, if not tired. 

 

The girl jolted up.  _ You.  _ She didn’t open her mouth to speak, she didn’t have to. He could hear her thoughts as clear as day, could hear the venom in them too. 

 

“Me,” Kylo said. “I thought you had managed to sever the bond between us somehow, the bond that you created.” 

 

_ That was a mistake.  _ She said.  _ Now go away, I left for a reason.  _

 

“Yes, I know. What is that reason?” 

 

_ Because you were annoying, _ She offered lamely. She looked away from him, and to something else. Something he couldn’t see. 

 

“Right.” He said, “no note or anything either. I would’ve even preferred a holo of you flipping me off. Would’ve gotten the message all the same.” Rey didn’t reply to that. “I’m glad you’re okay though.” She closed the bond on him again. 


	18. development

Rey wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she went to the Refuge, maybe twenty people at most, all of them kids. She wasn’t wrong about all of them being kids, ranging from infantile to a preteen, but the Refuge was much bigger than she expected. It was built out of the old remnants of the Temple of the Whills, and Rey had to wonder if there was other people before Paige who had helped build it up. 

 

From the outside, it looked like an absolute wreck, and Rey asked Paige if she was absolutely sure that she wasn’t planning on killing her and taking her head back to the Republic. Paige had only laughed and said that trying to kill her was a stupid idea, because Rey would win that fight. 

 

At least the girl was smart. When Rey entered the Refuge, she immediately noted how different it looked from it’s outside. Fully functioning and cool, there was little technology except for lights installed in the high hanging ceiling. It seemed that it was one, extremely large room, that went off into four separate hallways. There was at least three hundred kids there. 

 

They all got quiet when they saw her. There was a few whispers, Rey could distinctly feel the immeasurable power of the force dripping from every child in the room. How had she not felt it before? Perhaps she wasn’t looking hard enough. Rey looked to Paige, feeling a little bit panicked, not knowing what to do. She looked back to all the kids, it seemed that they were crowding in on either side of her, but they were far enough away to give her five feet of space on either side. 

 

To her surprise, they kneeled. “What is happening?” She hissed at Paige, “Did you tell them to do this?” 

 

Paige shook her head no. “I told you they worshipped you.” Rey stood still, thoroughly freaked out by all of this. It was so much to process in such a little amount of time. “You should walk around, talk to some people.” She muttered under her breath. She gave Rey a little shove. 

 

Rey walked forward, momentarily giving Paige a dirty look before looking at each of the kids. She recognized a few of the faces, remembering a few trashy news holos she had seen of kids from Royal Families being disowned by their own parents, all of the other kids were scrappier and doe eyed. She was automatically drawn to a girl at the end of the line of kids on the right side. She had dark raven hair and a fair complexion. The more Rey saw her, the more the girl reminded her of Kylo. She looked uneasy as she stared up at Rey. Rey leaned down next to the girl, and motioned for the girl to come closer. Rey whispered in her ear, “What’s your name?” 

 

“Veronika,” 

 

“Right, Veronika. I can tell that you’re very strong with the force,” 

 

“You can?” 

 

“Yes, and I want you to know, I can already tell that you’re going to be my favorite.” She watched as the girl’s smile brightened her face. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.” She winked, and the girl nodded, her face suddenly going more serious. Rey tried her best to smile back, and got up, dusting her pants off, and looking at the group of kids around her. “You know you don’t have to kneel,” Rey shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. “I’m not royalty.”  

 

It was slow at first, but they all rose and came rushing towards her. She didn’t know what to do. All these kids were so innocent. None of them deserved any of this. “Is it true that you can bring down a whole fleet with the force?” Some kid asked. 

 

“Can you teach us how to read minds?” There was so many questions, so much innocent curiosity. Rey caught Paige’s face in the corner of her eye. She was smiling. She knew that this was going to happen. Rey was going to teach these kids. 

* * *

 

It’s been a month and Kylo has learned a lot more about the force than he thought he could have. He was a quick learner too, growing more proficient in combat than he had been before. He wished that Rey would’ve given him that chance. They hadn’t talked in so long it hurt. Each second making him want her more and more. Luke kept reassuring him that Rey would come back when the time was right, but for now he needed to train. 

 

Then they would train, later in the night Luke would try to ask him about things about childhood that he didn’t want to answer, things about his mother. He would always avoid them. He didn’t want to talk about his mother or his childhood. He would focus on mundane things. The few things that weren’t things that would upset him, and never answer the question straight on. 

 

Kylo was about to lay down in his hut when he feels it. That light static feeling that he felt right before the bond opened momentarily, and she was there. He turned to see her there, without her shirt on. Eyes wild. She didn’t even try to cover her boobs. 

 

There wasn’t any point. He’d seen them anyways. She looked like she was about to close the bond but Kylo said, “Wait.” 

 

“What?” She looked like she was in a hurry to go somewhere. “Can you hurry up? I have somewhere to be.” 

 

“Where could you possibly go without your shirt on?” 

“I’m going to bathe, Kylo. I haven’t had a proper bath in weeks.” Kylo swallowed. 

 

“Is it a public bath?”

 

“Yes,” Rey answered immediately. “It is a public bath, but it’s with women so you don’t have anything to worry about.” She rolled her eyes and was about to walk past him when he said, 

 

“You know how everyone looks at you,” 

 

“If you’re just here to act weird and jealous I’m going to close the bond now,” 

 

“No, Rey that’s not it.” 

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“Can you at least tell me why you left?”

 

“I’d rather not do this now.”  _ While I’m shirtless.  _ The bond closed. 

 

* * *

 

Paige had helped Rey move her few possessions to the Refuge and into an empty room a few days after she’d decided she would train these kids. It was weird, having a room in a permanent place that wasn’t a ship. Everything felt weirdly cemented and permanent. Things changed, but slowly. Over the past month, Rey and Paige grew a little closer together. 

 

Of course, Paige had done most of the work on the part of making Rey trust her. One night Rey had just flat out asked Paige, “Why do you care? I haven’t given you any reason to.” She could feel a light and staticy feeling on the other side of the bond, like Kylo could hear what she was saying.

 

She tried to close it. “To be honest, Rey.” Paige leaned back on Rey’s cot as she looked at her holopad. “You remind me of my sister.”

 

“Your sister?” 

 

“Yes, Rose Tico.”  _ Rose.  _ Her mind flashed back to the prison. 

 

“I know her.”

 

* * *

 

It was late at night one night when the bond opened. Kylo was in Rey’s room. Watching her have a conversation with someone. He could only hear her part of the conversation though, but that was all he needed. 

 

“How did I end up here?” She asked, “That’s kind of complicated.” There was a pause for a beat, Kylo considering reaching out to her, but he knew that he needed to hear this. He need to know how,  _ he needed to know why.  _ “I… I don’t really want to talk about it.” Something caught in her throat. 

 

It was the first time she was truly vulnerable since she told him about what happened to her all that time ago. “Okay, yeah. I know, I just… it might sound stupid. I was running away from a guy.” Another pause. “He was weird… you know? And not in a bad way, although I wish it was in a bad way. That would’ve made it so much easier. He just sort of scared me, he came into my life all weird and reserved and  _ polite. _ He got under my skin and I just...it scared me.” 

 

* * *

 

Kylo woke up feeling weird. He felt hyper aware of everything. He could feel the force all around him. It didn’t take him long to figure out why. There was a ship down by the shore, but it wasn’t the one Rey had used.  _ Maybe it was a different ship.  _ Kylo thought. 

 

He knew that that was too hopeful, too naive to be true. He knew what Rey felt like. 

 

She wasn’t on Ach-To. This was something else. Something too familiar but faint enough that he couldn’t quite place is his finger on it. He went to find Luke but quickly realized that he was down on the shore too, talking to someone. 

 

Kylo walked down to shore to see what was happening, whatever was going down on the beach was a rather  _ heated argument.  _ Kylo felt a sense of dread as he realized just who he was talking to. 

 

“Mother?” 


	19. they're coming

“Ben?” Kylo couldn’t believe his eyes. His mother was standing next to Luke, who was staring at her very warily. Leia took a step forward and Kylo took a step back, and turned sharply. 

 

“I’m going to meditate.” His hands were shaking, so he balled them into fists, his gloved fingers digging into his palms as he walked away from the two of them. Kylo couldn’t say that he hadn’t thought of scenarios where he and his mother had been reunited, because he had. He had thought of a lot of different scenarios. There was one problem though.  _ In all of the times he had imagined it, Rey had been there. Rey had forced him to find the strength to confront his mother.  _ Rey wasn't here now. 

 

Kylo headed back to his hut, hoping to god that no one had been following him. There was a light, static feeling that he had ignored. 

 

Rey was sitting on his cot, and Kylo nearly jumped out of his skin. It took him a second to remember she wasn’t actually there. She looked rather angry. “I can feel your emotions across the fucking galaxy,  _ control them.”  _ Anxiety was bubbling up in Kylo’s chest. Rey seemed to feel it too, because her face softened. She looked tired. “What’s wrong?”

 

“She’s back,” was all that he managed to get out. Rey didn’t look surprised. 

 

“Yes, she got kicked out of the Republic. She was going to find you sooner or later.”

 

“I don’t want to talk to her,” Rey snorted, leaning back in the cot. 

 

“You have to.”

 

“I need you.  _ You give me strength.”  _

 

Rey rolled her eyes at that. “Don’t give me that bullshit, Ren. We both know that I’m not coming back.”  _ This didn’t sting as much. This time he knew why she left.  _ “But, I will tell you one thing.”

 

“And what's that?”

 

She paused for a low beat. “I believe in you,” 

* * *

 

The next month of training went a lot better than Rey expected, and not just with the kids, but her as well. Her head was clearer, and she was able to give much better instruction. She knew that she didn’t have enough time to give them the proper years of Jedi instruction, but she had never had that either, so she figured that it would be fine. 

 

They all progressed nicely too, from meditation, to force push and pull, to being able to spar adequately enough. Rey was watching as the kids sparred, the kid that was sparring with Veronika was brutal. Intentionally so, and she could feel the girl getting frustrated. “Veronika, come with me. You,” She pointed at the girl she was fighting. “You stay right here.” The girl nodded, but she noticed a pretty malicious stare at her. 

 

Veronika looked like she was about to stomp out in frustration. “I don't want to fight her!” She said. “She's mean.”

 

“You're going to meet a lot of mean people,” Rey brought her to a corner of the room, devoid of people. “Here's how you put her in her place.” Rey whispered some things to her, and Veronika nodded. “Do you understand?”

 

“Yes,” Veronika went back to the girl and Rey waited as they began to spar. This time, Veronika waited for the girl to attack. When she lunged forward with her staff, Veronika moved to the left, like Rey told her, using the small moment of the girl’s vulnerability to push at her with the force. The girl was thrown three feet before falling to the ground, and Veronika was laughing. 

 

* * *

“Kylo,” Luke entered his hut. There was no sign of his mother. “You know you can’t hide away from her forever.”

 

“Are you taking her side?” Kylo groaned. He was in his cot, sulking. 

 

“No, I’m just saying that things are going to go easier if you just confront her now.” Kylo sat up. “She’s the reason I'm the way I am.”

 

“I know,” Luke said. “She’s also the only mother you are ever going to have, and you need to consider that.”

* * *

 

Rey woke up screaming in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat. The Force flickering around her and wrapping around everything in thick tendrils. She had a nightmare, one so intense and vivid that it seemed like more than just a nightmare. 

 

It seemed real. 

 

The nightmare was just glimpses. A dark sky, littered with ships, a vibroblade, the taste of blood in Rey’s mouth as the blade cut through her stomach. Rey had a metallic taste in her mouth. She was about to lay back in her bed when Paige came running. She opened the door, wide eyed and concerned. 

 

Paige coming over to Rey was more of a habit than Rey would like to have admitted. Over the past month, they had talked about everything, Paige was the closest thing Rey ever had to a friend. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah but my footlocker isn't,” The metal footlocker had crumbled under the weight of the force. Rey was grateful that she had the foresight to keep her lightsaber out of the way. Paige sat down on Rey’s cot and stared at her intensely. 

 

“I can get you a new one.” 

 

“Thanks,” 

 

They were silent for a long time. Paige had learned a while ago not to ask Rey if she wanted to talk about it. The answer was always no. Rey had to initiate the conversation. 

 

This time she did. 

 

“I think something bad is going to happen soon.” 

* * *

 

Kylo had ignored Leia for the rest of the night, despite what Luke had said. She made no other attempts to talk to him. At least she could respect that.

 

He was awoken in the middle of the night, not by his own nightmare, but by Rey’s. He’d seen it. The blood. But most importantly  _ her location.  _

 

He could feel her heartbeat accelerating in the bond. He did his best to calm his, getting up and walking out to Luke. Leia was there too, but he disregarded her. “I know where Rey is.” Luke stared at him for a minute. “She’s in danger. We need to go help her.”

 

“ _ With what _ ?” Leia said. 

 

“You don’t get to weigh in on this.” Kylo snapped. 

 

Luke gave Kylo an admonishing look but didn’t tell him to apologize. “Where is she?”

 

“Jedha.”

 

“That's two days away from here.”

 

“Which is why we have to go now.”

 

* * *

The next two days went by smoothly, a little too smoothly. Training went well, and Rey was pleased by how everyone was coming along in combat training. Veronika would often stop by her room to Rey and just talk, she taught Rey how to play a card game that her people used to play, and Veronika beat her every time. 

 

Today was different though.

 

Rey woke up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache and someone knocking at her door. 

 

Paige. 

 

She seemed panicked. 

 

“What's wrong?”

 

“There’s… come with me.” Before Rey could ask for more context, Paige pulled her along until they were outside. 

 

_ Oh.  _

 

A sense of dread settled over her like a wet blanket. The sands around the Refuge looked almost red, one single bounty hunter lay their dead. 

 

Paige pointed at the sky. 

  
Rey watched as nineteen shuttles came out of the sky. It was dark, threatening to rain. That never happened on Jedha. She didn't notice the twentieth ship in the mix, distinctly unlike the rest, doing it's best to hurry her way. She didn't feel him, instead feeling a distinct sense of terror rip through her as she watched them near the Refuge. "Who are they?" Paige asked. 

  
"Bounty hunters," Rey said, "those are bounty hunters."


	20. death among us

Rey and Paige shut all entrances to the Refuge as fast as they could, woke everyone up, and had them all stay in their rooms with what weapons they had. Rey had to reassure them that everything was going to be okay, but she knew it wasn’t. If anything, the more apt thing to say was that Rey was probably going to die. But maybe that was okay, if it meant that she was protecting people that could go on to destroy the weapon that was being made by the Republic. “What are we going to do?” Paige asked. “What if they just bomb us?” 

  


“They’re not going to bomb us.” Rey said cooly, she grabbed her lightsaber. “Bounty ships are merely shuttles. They’re used for about four to five bounty hunters and can take around ten to twenty prisoners each. It’s going to be fine, okay? Just breathe. Hold down the fort and I’ll take care of this.” 

  


“How can you do that? That’s nineteen ships, Rey.” In all honesty, Rey was tempted to flat out tell Paige that there was no way that she could take out around seventy five bounty hunters in an open space by herself. She was going to die, but she would kill as many of them as she could in the mean time. 

  


“I’ll think of something.” Rey assured her. This was the last time she would see Paige. She could feel it. For the first time in a while, Rey initiated a hug. “Thank you,” She said, “for reminding me that there’s still things to fight for.” She broke off of Paige, swallowing hard and lifting the barricade. “Shut this immediately after I go out okay?”

  


“I don’t want you to-” 

  


“I don’t care.” 

  


_ Rey had a bad feeling about this.  _ Still, she had to do it. She had to do it. Rey didn’t care if she died here. She’d made her peace with it. Rey’s lightsaber was clipped by her side, and anxiety bubbled inside her chest. 

  


She had to do this right. 

  


She had to be smart. 

  


She could see them all starting to fan out of their ships, their blasters being loaded, they were all getting into formation. “Hey boys,” She didn’t shout, she didn’t yell, she didn’t do anything that could reveal the fact that she wanted to cry. “Got a minute?” 

  


* * *

  


Kylo had prepared for this. He had killed one of the bounty hunters around his size when they got out of their ship, he’d changed, and got into formation with everything else. Luke and Leia were waiting with some self made smoke grenades. They had had a general plan, but with Rey acting on her own, that could all change at any minute.  _ Don’t see me. Not yet.  _ If she saw him, she’d give away his position. He saw her first. 

  


It was weird, seeing her in the flesh again after what seemed like forever. He wished that it were in happier circumstances. “Got a minute?” She’d gone back to that same front, using sass and to an extent, sex, as a wall. He’d could tell that she was scared out of her mind though. 

  


“We’ve been told to strike on this place in authority that there was three hundred and fifty nine life signs of force users here. If you give everyone up, you’ll be allowed to live.” She wasn’t going to do that, he swore he could feel Rey roll her eyes. 

  


“Really? That easy?” She stood there for a second. “Huh, if I’d known that…” She put her hands up in the air. This was so obviously a trick.  _ What was she going to do?  _ “Then go ahead. It’s not like I can fight all seventy five of you, that’s ludacris.” This was really a trick, Kylo couldn’t believe that there was people falling for it. All of the hunters were looking at each other before one of them finally had the stupidity to get up. 

  


_ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.  _

  


This person was going to die. 

  


At this point it was really natural selection. She didn’t even move at first, but Kylo noticed that every step that the bounty hunter took became more laboured, small choking noises came from this throat. 

  


_ 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.  _

  


The force usually whipped around Rey in a certain way, it was usually like tendrils, wrapping around things and crushing them if they got in her way. This time, however, it was completely different. It wasn’t explosive. It wasn’t out of control, this was extremely calculated. The force cut through the bounty hunter like a razor, slowly flaying him. Kylo didn’t know that it was possible to use the force like that. 

  


He watched as the skeleton of the bounty hunter fell to the ground. Rey cracked her neck from one side to the other, as her hands dropped to the side. “Who’s next?” She asked.

  


That was when all hell broke loose.

* * *

  


Rey hadn’t expected smoke grenades. There had to be a good five of them, and it was extremely hard to see. She heard shooting noises, stopped a few blaster bolts, but no bounty hunters had actually come at her. 

  


She found that a little unnerving. 

She stood there, waiting. A hand clamped over her mouth, and Rey almost screamed. She was about to turn her lightsaber on when the owner of the hand said, “Open the bond again, Rey.” Kylo. How was Kylo here?

  


_ How are you here?  _

  


Pause.

  


_ Because I had a dream…  _ She could feel the fear in his head. She hated it.  _ We need to get back to whatever that building was before the smoke clears up.  _ He didn’t have to say that twice.

  


Kylo let go of her and they got back to the Refuge. Paige let them in and shut the barricade again. “Rey, you’re still alive.”  _ For now.  _ “Who’s...this?” 

  


“A thorn in my side,” Rey said bitterly. 

  


She didn’t want him here. This was the last thing she needed. Kylo stared at her, there was something in his eyes, hurt? Rey wasn’t sure. She told herself that she didn’t care though. “The person who saved her from getting shot to death out there,” Rey rolled her eyes. 

  


“So, there’s around three hundred kids here and before you two assholes continue bickering, we need to get rid of those bounty hunters to make sure that they’re safe.” 

  


“Kids?” Ren asked. 

  


“Kids.” Rey replied. “They’re all holed up in their rooms right now. I think for the time they should stay. We’re not risking them fighting.” 

  


“Rey, I think they’re ready. At least the oldest.”

  


“They’re kids, Paige.” Rey turned back to the girl, “I am not letting any kid die today because that will be on my conscience,  _ forever. _ Got me?” The girl swallowed, and then nodded. “You two just need to find a way to get them out of here.” She said. “I’m going to go do the only thing that I’m good at.” 

  


“And what’s that?”

  


“I’m going to go kill some people.” 

  


* * *

  


  


Kylo knew that this sort of reunion with Rey would be rocky, but he hadn’t expected her to outright deny help from him. It was outright insane. Kylo had managed to kill at least five bounty hunters before he’d found her, but he knew that even then, taking on that many people when there was nothing to cover you, no one to help you, was suicide. Even for her. 

  


He couldn’t let her die. Luke had made it into the Refuge, saying something about his mother guarding the ship. He didn’t care. 

  


He went after Rey. 

  


The smoke had mostly cleared and the battle was a bloodbath. Rey was in the thick of battle, but it looked like she was losing it, mentally at least. Kylo looked to his right. He saw a small girl off to the side, trying to take on someone twice her size and knew. 

  


_ He knew now.  _

  


* * *

  


  


It was all going great for the first part of the fight, Rey’s tongue tasted metallic after she got someone’s blood in her mouth. Bounty hunter after bounty hunter tried to even get a mark on her, but nothing worked. That was until someone twice her size came at her, Rey wasn’t expecting the hit of electricity that she got from his weapon. She coughed and fell to the ground. 

  


It reminded her of her time at the prison. 

  


They’d probably amped up the voltage on their weapons just for her.  _ That was just fucking great. Rey was going to die in one of the most painful ways possible. She was going to suffer to no end from the masochist edge these men had.  _ “Get away from her!” It wasn’t Kylo. It wasn’t Luke. It wasn’t Paige. A strong shift in the Force rippled through the air, and Rey filled with dread when she saw Veronika. 

  


What was she doing out her? 

  


She was supposed to be inside. 

  


She was supposed to be safe. 

  


There was a loud  _ pop!  _ and the man who’d nearly killed her a second ago was slammed into another hunter. It was victory. Just for a minute. Then they started focusing in on her too, when the only weapon she had was a metal staff that she’d fashioned herself. This was exactly what she was trying to avoid. 

  


Rey started to panic. She had to help her. She’d meant what she said to Paige earlier. If any kid died, it was on her conscience. The man got back up and came at her, this time Rey was ready. She ignited her lightsaber and side stepped his first move, bringing down the plasma beam in a cruel arc on his hand. He screamed, but for some reason wasn’t done yet. Maybe he didn’t smell his flesh burning in the way that Rey did. The force gathered around Rey again, swelling in anger, sharpening in her need to keep Veronika safe. She tore right through him. 

  


She was still surrounded. She needed to get to Veronika. 

  


That’s when Kylo turned out to be her saving grace. 

* * *

  


  


Kylo plunged his lightsaber right through the man that was attacking the girl. She screamed as he fell to the ground and then looked up at him. “You’re wearing a bounty hunter’s clothes.” She was confused, obviously. 

  


“I’m on your side.” He reassured her. “You need to go back,” He was more hyperaware of surroundings than he usually was. He could feel every life force and what they were doing. 

  


“No.” She shook her head. “Rey, needs my help.” Kylo bit his lip. 

  


“I’m out here to help her. Go back.” He held his hand up and stopped a blaster bolt from hitting him. 

  


“No,” She shook her head and went back to the man who Kylo just killed, picking up his blaster and a knife that was tucked in his boot.  _ How old was this kid? Twelve?  _ “I’m staying.” Kylo grimaced. 

  


“Fine. But you’re staying behind me the entire time.” 

  


The girl didn’t object to that. “I just want to help Rey.”

  


* * *

  


  


Kylo was insane. 

  


Why the hell wasn’t he taking Veronika back to the Refuge? Rey wanted to shout a million obscenities at him right now, but she couldn’t. Her muscles were screaming and she was getting down to the thick of it. Only the best fighters were left, and she was starting to struggle. The effects of not being able to keep down whatever she ate and minimal sleep were starting to way down on her. 

  


Kylo was trying his best to cut and slash his way to her, but it wasn’t exactly fighting. Rey had gone to relying mainly on the fact that she could give good defense. Even then, she was starting to wear herself thin. She needed to get away from everyone, so she could use the force. One well aimed lightning blast could take out a good ten of the twenty bounty hunters that were left. 

  


She was so tired. 

  


She wondered what would happen if she just gave up. Would her death be instantaneous and merciful? Rey’s thoughts of giving were interrupted by one distinct scream, she watched as someone straddled Veronika. “ _ I am one with the force, and the force is with me. _ ” Kylo was being put in a chokehold as well, trying to throw the staff that was choking him off of him.  Anger swelled in every part of her being, every memory she had of torture, of pain, came bubbling to the surface. 

  


It kept coming up and stopping at the top before it just came out, and it burned, the three men she were fighting were reduced to nothing but dust, and Rey ran. Rey ran straight towards the man who was hurting Veronika, used another corpse is a launch pad, and jumped. The plasma beam of her lightsaber cut through his skin in a clean and neat move. His head toppled to the side and the rest of the body fell on top of the girl. She pushed him off and got up. “Thank-” 

  


“You need to get your ass back to the Refuge.” Rey said. Her eyes widened. She obviously wasn’t expecting that. 

  


“I was just trying to help.” 

  


“You almost got yourself killed twice.” She said. “There was a reason that I told you to stay in your room and I don’t know why the fuck you didn’t listen but-” Rey stopped mid sentence. She was cut off by a pain in her side. It was intense, and radiated through her.  _ A vibroblade.  _ The knife came out and sunk itself into her back one more time, luckily nowhere near her spine. This time it went deeper though. Rey turned and killed the man. Her vision was tunneling. Veronika was crying. “Go back to the Refuge.” Veronika nodded and ran. Rey started walking back to where Kylo was, blade ignited. 

  


She estimated three minutes before she bled out. 

  


She wasn’t entirely sure how she was still standing, but that didn’t entirely matter. Rey threw her saber and Ben caught it. Turning it on so the bounty hunter that was attacking him would fall to the floor. One minute and four seconds. Rey was going completely numb. “I am one with the force and the force is with me,” Rey raised her hand and Kylo ducked. She used the last of her energy to channel an electric current so intense that the rest of the bounty hunters dropped to the ground. Kylo rose again. 

  


They stared at each other for a second before Rey fell to her knees. Two minutes. “I think that this is it.” Was the last thing she said before everything went black. 

  
  
  



	21. recover

Kylo didn’t remember how he’d gotten her back to the Refuge, with Rey in his arms. He didn’t remember the sounds of kids muffled cries, people asking what happened. Paige ran with him to a med bay. It wasn’t the best that he’d ever seen, but there were medbots that immediately started working on Rey as Kylo tried not to break down. Luke had pulled him out of the medbay so the two med bots they had could do their work, “You need to calm down,” He said, “you’re not going to help her like this.” Kylo blinked, it took him a second to register that Luke was even talking. “There is another way that you can help her though, but you’ll have to be quick.” 

 

“How?” He wanted to stay here. He wanted to know that she was okay. 

 

“Some people are bringing in medical supplies from the bounty hunter ships, but they’ve already said it’s not going to be enough bacta for her surgery and internal bleeding is a problem.” Kylo nearly choked. “You need to find whatever medicine you can, whether it be plants or something else. Things to control infections, pain medication, that type of thing. I’m going to go back in there and do some healing myself but I can’t fix everything. She lost a lot blood.” He had to snap out of it. Kylo nodded, turned, and went out to the main room again. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, after all he wasn’t familiar with Jedha’s landscape in the slightest bit, but he knew he had to try. Kylo went back out before anyone could ask him any questions. 

 

It also didn’t take him long to figure out someone was following him. Their force signature was familiar.  _ Veronika.  _ “Go away, kid.” He growled. She was silent for a minute, probably wondering if she should reveal herself to him or not.

 

“No,” The girl seemingly came out of nowhere, a leather pack strung over one shoulder. 

 

“I don’t want to babysit anyone.” Kylo didn’t want to be around anyone right now, he just wanted to be alone, but this girl just wasn’t listening. 

 

“I’m twelve, asshole. Not a kid.” That nearly made him laugh. Nearly. “Besides, I came to help.” Kylo stopped in his tracks, despite himself. 

 

“I don’t need any help. Especially not from some kid that nearly got Rey killed.”  _ Might be the reason she still dies.  _ That stung. He could see a small crack in her composure, and then her hands balled into fists. 

 

“I’m not  _ helping  _ you asshole. I’m helping Rey. Besides, it’s not like you know your way around Jedha do you?” She had a point. Kylo looked from the ship to the girl again, and then motioned for her to come with. She did, skipping along. Kylo had a feeling that this girl was going to be causing him a lot of trouble. He just hoped that she’d have enough sense to not cause any trouble before they got Rey the help that she needed. Veronika told Kylo the coordinates to the nearest civilization and he navigated.

 

It was odd and silent between both of them, until Kylo asked, “How did you and Rey meet?” Veronika eyed him suspiciously. She didn’t have to answer. He probably didn’t help matters by still being dressed in bounty hunter’s clothes.

 

“Paige convinced her to come to the Refuge. We were all kneeling, and I was nervous. She’s well known around these parts. Practically a god. She told me I was strong with the Force and made me smile.” The last part sounded like Rey. Kylo remembered her telling him about what the Outer Rim had cost her, she said that she wasn’t sure if she wanted kids, but he knew she was lying. Rey had wanted a family, but it seemed like such a far away fantasy, until this girl came into her life. “How did you two meet?”

 

“I arrested her.”

 

Veronika’s eyes widened for a minute before she went quiet. “My dad had the force, my mom arrested him.” Kylo nearly scoffed at the similarity. “Didn’t matter though.” She said. “They killed each other in combat.”

 

* * *

 

Going to get the medical supplies was quicker than Kylo would’ve thought. Veronika stole everything she needed and then they were out again. The ride back to the Refuge was filled with silence as Kylo navigated around the sandy terrain as best he could. 

When they got back, her other friend seemed to be going off the rails. “Oh thank god.” Veronika handed her pack to her and the older girl told her that she better be glad that she didn’t get hurt, before running to Rey’s room. Kylo was behind her. He didn’t notice if the kid had followed him or not. 

 

“How is she?” Was the first thing he asked Luke when he got there. Luke grimaced, didn’t answer, and took the extra bacta, medicinal plants, and crude medical stitching kit they’d found. Kylo went in there with him despite his better judgement. There was so much blood. 

 

He didn’t know what he was expecting. There was going to be a lot of blood, the wounds she suffered were close to her spine, the knife used was a vibroblade, it cut with twice the intensity of a normal blade and was harder to heal with the force as well. He felt a metallic taste in his mouth and he was pushed out as medbots started beeping, the signal that the patient was going into cardiac arrest. 

 

_ No. No. No.  _

 

He lost it. 

 

He lost everything he ate. 

 

He didn’t feel his mother’s hand on his shoulder at first. He did feel it however, when she lifted his hair up out of his face. His first reaction was to tell her to go away, to tell her that she doesn’t get to comfort him because all of this is her fault, all of it. His next reaction is to shrug her away. To pretend like nothing was happening. His final one, the one he ended up going with, was getting up once he was done,  crumbling into her arms, and crying. They stayed like this for a solid minute before Leia said, “I’m so sorry, for everything I’ve done.” Kylo didn’t say anything. “I just wanted to keep you safe, and I know that’s not an excuse and I should’ve found another way but I’m sorry.” 

 

“I believe you,” He muttered into her. It had been such a long time since he’d hugged his mother that he forgot how good it felt. He just wished it was under different circumstances. Kylo started tearing up again. “I can’t do it without her mom.” 

 

“Don’t say that,” 

 

“You don’t understand.” 

 

“Then make me.” He broke off from her and sucked in a deep breath. 

 

“She was the first person who made me feel...accepted.” There was so much more, but Kylo wasn’t much for words, and it didn’t help when he knew that she might die at any minute in there. 

 

* * *

 

It was about three hours later when Kylo learned that she was one hundred percent in the clear, and going to live. Kylo was allowed in the room then. There wasn’t anymore blood. She looked so pale and small under the bright lights, an IV drip was hooked up to her, and a medbot was on standby.

 

He’d been crying. 

 

“Just wake up,” He whispered. “Please.” There was a long pause, an hour that seemed like a century, and then her breathing changed, and her heart monitor picked up a little. Not enough to be alarming. Kylo looked up, and watched her eyes flutter and her head move a little. “Rey?”


	22. wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short update. I'm tired.

Rey woke up to a light that was too bright, and the rhythmic beeping of a machine. It was as if on cue that the lights were turned off. She knew that Kylo was there. The bond was opened between them again. She didn’t say anything. She just wished that she could go back to sleep. “Rey,” What could she say?  _ I’m sorry I run away from my feelings?  _ “You’re awake.”  _ Why didn’t you let me die?  _ “How are you feeling?”

 

“Water.” Was all Rey said. Her mouth was parched. “Please,” Kylo shuffled out of view for a minute. He came back with a glass of water. Normally, Rey would have gotten it herself. She never needed help before. Now, her muscles screamed and she had the overwhelming feeling of anger and anxiety and sadness welling up in her chest and so much as lifting a finger seemed painful to her. He took the cup away when she signalled that she was done. 

 

“I missed you,” Kylo’s voice was low and quiet and Rey wished that she could just disappear. “I missed you so much.”  _ You should have let me die. Any reasonable person would let me die. I’m not good for you.  _ Rey closed her eyes again. 

 

“You had to have known that I wouldn’t let you die.” Kylo said. “You know me, Rey. Better than everyone else. You should’ve known that I would do everything in my power to keep you alive.” Rey listened to the rhythmic beeping of the machine before she finally came up with what she was going to say. 

 

“I missed you,” Saying those words stung her in a way that she couldn’t imagine. She felt vulnerable, exposed. “Do you understand why I left?” He nodded, silently. 

 

“I’m sorry I pushed you away.” He said. “I wish I had known sooner so I could’ve done something about it.” Rey shook her head, and then winced. Even her fucking neck hurt. 

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” She reassured him, “I’m impulsive, and I was scared.”  _ She was still scared.  _ She remembered seeing him not so long ago and trying to keep her world from collapsing in on itself. Rey had fallen harder than she was when she left, and it was awful. “I’m not used to-” Her throat caught. 

 

“I know.” He kept looking at her like he wanted to touch her. Instead he put a small round object with a button in her hand. “Push that.” She did. “It releases a stream of pain medication into your IV.” Rey was already starting to feel foggy. Whatever was in there was powerful stuff. It was great anymore. “Don’t push it too much because you don’t want to OD. But also the Refuge doesn’t have as much as they should, so the supply is limited.” 

 

* * *

 

Rey fell asleep four seconds after he gave her pain medication. His mother, Paige, and Veronika were all waiting outside of the room. “How is she?” Kylo pretended that he didn’t know that they were eavesdropping. “Is she gonna be okay?” Veronika seemed impatient because Kylo wasn’t answering her questions. “Dude, are you deaf?” 

 

“She’s going to be fine.” Kylo said. “She just fell back asleep.” Veronika pushed the door open and Paige mumbled something under her breath, about to go in after her when she stopped herself and turned to him. 

 

“Are you sure she’s going to be okay?” Paige asked. Kylo nodded. “Good. I just,” She cut herself off, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “I’m going to check on her too. I’ll make sure that Veronika doesn’t wake her off.” That’s when she left.  Kylo turned to his mother. 

 

“She’s okay.” She smiled lightly. There was so much guilt behind her eyes. “I’m glad.” She sounded like she wanted to say something more, but she wasn’t sure if she should or not. “You love her, don’t you?” 

* * *

Rey woke up momentarily to feel a warm mass by her side. She looked down to see Veronika next to her, fast asleep. Paige was there, sitting in the corner of the room. “I tried to convince her to go to her actual bed to sleep. She wouldn’t listen. I can wake her up if you want me to.” Rey shook her head no and looked back down at the girl. 

 

“Is she okay?” 

 

“Yeah. She’s fine. She actually went with Kylo to go get you medicine. She was worried sick.” Rey stroked her hand through the smaller girl’s hair and pressed her closer. “She blames herself for what happened to you.” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“I don’t know. She thinks you wouldn’t have gotten stabbed if she’d just stayed in the Refuge. A lot of the kids are saying that too,” Rey rolled her eyes. 

 

“That’s stupid.” 

 

“I know.” 

 

“It’s my own fault I got stabbed, not hers.” Veronika stirred just a little, and Rey winced but she settled down. 

 

“Tell her that when she wakes up.” 

 

“I will. You should get some sleep too.” 

 

“I will. I just wanted to hear your voice for myself.” Paige’s voice sounded like it was going to crack. She might break down or cry. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m grateful for having you here.” Rey wasn’t sure exactly how to react to that. Her heart twinged a little. “That without you all those kids would be in jail or dead. You’ve gotten them through so much, even before you knew this place existed.” What was she supposed to say? Rey was never someone who was good with words. “So thank you.” 

 

“I… thank you for making me reevaluate my priorities.” Was all she said, she had to keep herself from crying. Paige cracked a bit of a smile. 

 

“I didn’t do anything that special.”

 

“Yeah you did,” Rey’s voice was small and low but Paige still managed to hear it. 

 

“Goodnight, Rey.” 

 

“Night, Paige.” 

  
  



	23. recovery

 

 

Recovery was a bitch. Rey hated it with all her guts, mostly because people kept doting on her, asking if she was okay, treating her like she was weak. She hated it. She just wanted to get up and move around, but Kylo kept telling her that she had another week where she just had to lay around whilst things were going on around her. He told her that she shouldn’t be ashamed of other people helping her. That was easier said than done. Rey had spent her whole life alone. She still thought that she deserved that, but people kept insisting that she was some sort of hero. Veronika stayed attached to her hip, and Paige kept updating her about the progress of the weapon that Hux was making. She just wanted it all to stop. It was too much and her back hurt and she just needed it to stop. 

 

Rey wished that she could stop all this noise that was around her. But of course, she couldn’t. Some things were just out of Rey’s control. One night no one came to check on her, and Rey stood up. She couldn’t deal with not being able to move around, with not being able to do things. Everything was darker than it usually was, which was odd. She couldn’t even hear the beeping of the machines she had been hooked up to for the past few days. As she kept walking, she noticed that she couldn’t even hear the sound of her feet hitting the cold floor beneath her. Rey could feel everything though, the floor beneath her feet started getting wet. There was some sort of dark liquid beneath her, and she didn’t want to know what it was. She was sure that she knew though. It was warm and sticky and made the room smell like iron. 

 

She kept walking and the room changed, it was more open now, and there was some sort of contraption all around her. She looked down at the ground again. She was there, blood blooming around her and flowering out on the floor. She didn’t care about that, in fact, she wasn’t phased by that at all. She kept walking, her feet sticking to the floor. There was so much blood. So much blood. 

 

Her stomach started turning when she saw Paige there on the ground, right next to her. Paige’s arms were around Rey like she was trying to protect her from something but was ultimately unsuccessful. Veronika was there too. Rey shook her head. She was sleeping, this was a fucked up version of reality that was probably a result of her pain medication. Then Ren. The sight of him laying on the floor, face placid and frozen in this eternal pain sent Rey over the edge. She started screaming. Rey had spent her time ignoring her feelings for him for such a long time, but seeing him gutted, and limp, and dead was too much. It was too much. 

 

This was all too much. She was going to fall to the floor and hold him when she saw him. She saw Hux. Something in her burned like never before, and she surged towards him, no weapon and barefooted. Before she could reach him, everything changed, and she was watching a beam from a distance. Hux was right next to her. “Beautiful isn’t it?” She didn’t say anything. This was a dream. This was all just a dream. “Too bad you’re not going to be around much longer.” He said, “You should see what this does to people in the long range.” 

 

Rey sat straight up in her bed, her heart monitor was off the charts. Her hand jutted out to the side, and it was fried to a crisp. She took her IV out of her, hissing a little, and got up, her feet touching the ground again. She almost fell to the floor, remembering that she had to take the time to regain feeling in her legs. She walked around the room several times before she was confident in her abilities to walk without grabbing onto things. 

 

She thought for a second about where she was going, and she considered taking off again, but she couldn’t get very far in this state realistically. Then she thought about going to Kylo, but all he would do was worry. She couldn’t go to Veronika or Paige. So she went somewhere she never thought she would. 

 

She went to Luke.

Rey knocked on Luke’s door not expecting him to answer, but he did. His eyes softened when he saw her, “Child, what are you doing up?” There was something about the way he said that made Rey break down in her arms. He took her in his arms and beckoned her inside his room. 

 

“Don’t tell Kylo,” She said. “I just… I needed to talk to someone.” He nodded.

 

“Would you like some water?” She nodded. He poured some water from a pitcher and gave it to her, she sat down on one of only chairs he had, drank the whole glass. A small twinge of a smile played at his lips. He took it from her again. “Okay, what did you need to talk about?” 

 

“I just need to tell someone.” 

 

“Tell someone what?” 

 

“Everything.” Rey said. “Everything.” 

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo had woken up to check on Rey to find that she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there. Kylo immediately wanted to panic. He stood there for a minute, thinking that maybe she had left, maybe she did the same thing she had done to him on Ach-To. He was shaking. As if on cue, Veronika entered the room too. “She’s gone.” Veronika said. “Where?” 

 

“I don’t know,” He said. 

 

“Have you checked your bond?” She asked. Kylo felt like such a fucking idiot. Of course he hadn’t. He did. It was still open. 

 

_ Where are you?  _

 

__ _ Up.  _

 

__ _ You shouldn’t be. You’ll pop a stitch.  _

 

__ _ I’m very much fine right now Kylo I just need to think.  _ Kylo pressed through her mind. She was in Luke’s room. Why was she in Luke’s room? Kylo motioned for Veronika to follow him. She did. Luke’s room was a really long walk from the medbay. Kylo found himself getting more and more pissed off the more he walked. “You’re mad at her,” Veronika said. “That’s stupid.” 

 

“Go away,” 

“Fine,” She said, “but you should know that sitting in a bed for three weeks with nothing but you for company makes for a shitty way to spend your time.” With that, she skipped away. Kylo knocked on Luke’s door. There was no answer for a few minutes but eventually Luke opened the door. Rey was sitting in a chair in the room. She looked like she had been crying. 

“She’s in there.” Luke said. 

“Yeah, I know. Why didn’t you send her back to her bed?” 

“She wanted to talk,” 

“Yeah but she still has fucking recovered fully and could’ve popped her stitches.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not a doll, Kylo. I’m fine.” 

“I was going to help her back to the medbay when we were done talking, now I suggest cooling your attitude because she’s fine. She was just asking me about some things.” 

“Like what?” 

“Things about the force,” 

“Rey? Asking you about the force?” That was a lie. 

“Forget it, Luke. We can talk later. Thank you for entertaining me,” She walked out of the door, bumping past Kylo on the way back to her room. Kylo didn’t even say bye to Luke, he just ran up to Rey. She didn’t look like she was doing well. “Shit.” She said.

“What?” 

“I popped a stitch.” 

Of course she did.

* * *

 

A few days after Rey had popped her stitch, she was up and walking again. This time Kylo was with her as she walked. They ended back in her room after she talked to other kids that were worried about her. They were silent for a while before she beckoned for him to come closer. “What?” 

 

“Come here.” 

He did. She kissed him, her hand entwined in his hair. She smiled against him softly. “I missed that,” He said. 

 

“There’s more of that to come later.” 

 

“Can’t wait.” 

 

“But we need to talk,” she said, “we need a way to get back to the Republic. To stop the weapon Hux is making. I have a feeling it’s almost done.” Kylo nodded. 

 

“Then let’s talk,” He said, “but I think that we need to include my mother in this too.” Rey made a face. “She doesn’t hate you anymore.” He reassured her. “Just give her a chance.” 

 

“Okay,” She said. “I will.” 

 

“I’ll go get her and Paige and Luke. Arrange a meeting.” Rey nodded, and watched as he left. She had this same feeling of dread in her stomach, remembering her dreams. What if Kylo died soon? What if this was her fault? It seemed that only time would tell. 


	24. we're all gonna die sometimes

When Rey got well enough to get up and around she started sparring with Ben. It was an example for the kids, but she noticed he was pulling his punches. Technically she was too, but not as much as him. She whacked him on the butt with one of the training staffs they had. “Ow!” 

 

“Pretend I'm not your girlfriend and fight me, asshole.”

 

“Wait, girlfriend? Is that official now?” Rey rolled her eyes. Some of the kids were giggling. 

 

“Come on. Round four.”

 

* * *

 

Kylo had to say that one of the best things about Rey was seeing her open it. It wasn’t immediately affectionate or pretty in the slightest bit, but if he came up from behind and wrapped his arms around her, she would let him with little to no complaining. When they were alone she would stay in bed with him without tensing up and would laugh softly when he pressed kisses into her neck. 

 

He loved it. 

 

It was almost enough of a distraction to keep him from thinking about the constant night terrors that he had. The first one he had had in a while came after the first time Rey had slept with him in a while. 

 

He could see her clear as day, alone in the pouring rain, and she was crying. Blood stained her clothes and mouth and her knuckles were bleeding. 

 

Ren woke up crying but Rey was right there, she didn't say anything, just tightened her grip around him. 

 

The second one came when his mother had told him about the progress of the General’s weapon. It was always of Rey, her skin was pallid and she was thin, unbreathing, blood freckling her fair skin. There was metal scraps all around her. 

 

They kept coming and coming, in each one Rey died. Luke had told him something of force dreams and how most of the time they became true but this couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. 

 

“Have you eaten?” He asked Rey. 

 

“I’m not hungry,” She walked across the floor of the room he occupied barefoot and got in bed. About to close her eyes when he stomach growled. 

 

“I’ll go and get you food.” He got up and left.

* * *

 

Ben wished that he could know what Rey needed at all points in the day, he could tell when she was blocking him from her mind but that was all that he could do. She was planning something, he could tell. She would work herself out to the max when she was training, and she always looked distracted and tired when he was talking to her about finding a way to get back into the Republic. 

 

“We need to plan with my mother,” He said. Rey looked at him with a steely expression, he knew this conversation wasn’t going to be pleasant. 

 

“No,” 

 

“Rey,” 

 

“She electrocuted me.” 

 

“Yeah and I hunted you down for months, kidnapped you, let you get electrocuted multiple times, let you get imprisoned, and thought that you were a monster for the longest time, and you forgave me.” She stared at him blankly. 

 

“That’s different.” 

 

“No, it’s not.” 

 

“Ren, you can’t make me.” 

 

“If this is going to work we have to work together with her and Luke, and I know that you and Luke have this weird meditation session late nights sometimes when you can’t sleep.” He sighed, “Please, just try.” 

  
  


“No,” 

 

“She hates me.” 

 

“She’s trying to change, Rey. Come on.” 

 

“No. She ordered the death of so many force sensitives when she knew that her own son was one. That isn’t okay.” 

 

“I know, and I’m not saying that you have to forgive her for that. I don’t forgive her for that, but she knows how to get in and out of the Republic. She knows the other Senators weaknesses and how to get into the Prison.”  Rey closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath in. 

 

“I’m not going to go into a room with her alone.” 

 

“You won’t.” 

 

“Then fine.” 

 

“Great.” 

 

That was a lot easier than he thought it was going to be. 

 

* * *

 

Rey had a habit of holding a grudge. She sat across from Leia right now, but wouldn’t look at her. “We need to talk about the attack on the Republic.” Rey said. “And the release of all the force sensitives in all prisons across the galaxy after that.” 

 

Leia tensed. She could feel it. “Some of those people are murderers.” 

 

“So am I,” Rey said tersely. “So are you,” That’s when she met Leia’s eyes. “But we’re not going to talk about that. Once we attack the Republic and get the ray knocked out, all the Senators that supported it’s construction are to be executed and you will instate a law that no force user is to be hunted. You will also support efforts to outlaw slavery across the galaxy.” 

 

“That’s a bit extreme, Rey.” Luke said. 

 

“What? The slavery part?” 

 

“No, the executing all the Senators who supported the construction of the build.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

 

“Fine, put them in prison. I don’t care. Formulate a plan with your spawn, I’m going to get a drink with Paige.” She got up, “I’m sorry but I can’t be in a room with you.” She looked straight at Leia. “To me you’ll always be the reason my life has been hell and nothing more.” With that, she turned and left the room. It was suffocating, and she had to get out, she could hear Kylo chasing after her, but she didn’t care. 

 

She had to get some fresh air, something. She disappeared in a crowd of children, and ended up outside, walking through sand that was still reddened by the massacre of the bounty hunters. 

 

Veronika was outside too, and when she saw Rey she immediately caught up to her. “Hey,” She said. 

 

“Hey,” 

 

“You look upset.” 

 

“I’m going to die soon.” She said. Veronika’s eyes widened. 

 

“Why?” 

 

It was simple really. “To make sure that my boyfriend doesn’t.” That didn’t really answer the question. Rey didn’t care. If she told Veronika more she would tell Ben her plan, and she couldn’t let that happen.


	25. the beginning of the end

Rey had spent the next few days getting ready for the infiltration. They were taking the ships that the bounty hunters had to attack them, and Rey wished that she could take down an entire army alone, but she couldn’t. She noticed that Ren was looking at her in increasingly suspicious ways as the days edged on and on and on. But she knew that she couldn’t. The one thing she could manage was not to be the reason that Kylo died, or Veronika, Paige, or Luke. She was sitting with Luke in his room when he asked, “What are you thinking child?” 

“I was just thinking that once I get to the Republic, I’m going to rip off Hux’s head.” Luke seemed to be unphased by this violent language. Rey was pretty sure that deep down inside, behind all the peace talk of the Jedi and everything, he agreed with her. “And how I’m going to keep Kylo alive for the next few days.” She said that in a quieter tone. Luke sat down across from her. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’ve been seeing these things, each time it’s either Kylo or me dying. So one of us has to die right?”

“And you’re saying that you’re going to be the one to die.” 

“Yeah, obviously. I’m not going to let him die. Especially after everything.” She stopped. She couldn’t think about it. Not right now. 

“Maybe neither of you have to die,” Luke told her. “The force is a fickle thing. Sometimes it shows you what could happen, and not what is actually going to happen.” She nodded. 

“Maybe. Still. I don’t think I could deal with even the thought of losing him,” 

“Have you thought about what Kylo would do if he lost you?” 

“No,” She admitted. “But he would get over it eventually. I’m not that special.” Luke raised his eyebrow at her. 

“It’s funny, because everything that you just said in that sentence was wrong.” 

 

* * *

 

The attack was going to one of two ways. Either it was going to be extremely successful and they would have no casualties, or it would kill them all. That’s how Kylo looked at it. The ride to the Republic was not a smooth one. Rey had told Kylo that she was going to be loading into a different ship than him. He would take his ship along with the kids to the prison, to break everyone free. She was gunning for the Senate with Luke and Paige and the others. 

He didn’t like that plan in the slightest but he knew that he would have no chance arguing with her about it. Instead he’d only insisted one thing. That they communicate through the bond.  _ Hey,  _ her voice echoed through his head.  _ Are you doing okay?  _

_ Yes, just thinking.  _ There was a pause. 

_ Yes, I know that. Your thoughts are very loud sometimes, do you know that?  _

_ I’ll try and keep them quieter next time.  _

_ You don’t have to do that, I like hearing them sometimes. It’s just...I want you to know that you’re not alone. No matter what happens, okay?  _ There was something about that that seemed off to him. Something about Rey’s demeanor had changed, almost as if she was scared. 

_ Are you crying?  _

_ No. I don’t cry, idiot.  _ Rey was lying, he could tell that she was. She always repressed her feelings to the very end, and he hated that she felt like she needed to do that with him. 

_ Once this is all over you and I should just disappear.  _

_ How so? _

_ Pick a planet, live there.  _

_ Like domestic and all that? _

_ Unless you don’t want to.  _

_ To be honest, I do. I just haven’t ever stayed in one place for long. The idea sounds weird to me.  _

_ I get that. But it’d be just us.  _

The end of her side was silent. 

_ Rey?  _

_ Yeah?  _

_ You don’t have to say it back right now but I need to tell you something before all of this goes to shit, okay?  _

_ What?  _

_ I love you.  _

 

* * *

 

The words echoed through her head for the next few minutes.  _ I love you.  _ He’d said. She knew that, so why did it make her feel so weird inside? “Hey,” Paige sat down next to her. “You okay?” 

“I don’t know,” She admitted. 

“Veronika told me about what you told her the other day.” Rey tensed, knowing that she was going to get scolded. “I just want to tell you that you’re not dying. I won’t allow it.” 

“What?”

“You are not dying.” She repeated. “I won’t allow it. You are my friend, you’re damn near my sister at this point and if you think that I’m going to let you get away with being stupid and sacrificing yourself than you are in for a surprise?” Rey tried her best to smile for Paige. 

“We’re going to see your sister soon,” She said. “You excited?” 

“Yeah,” She said. “I am. I miss her a lot. But I hope you were listening,” She told Rey. “Because I  mean it when I say that when we do this, I am not going to let you die.” 

“What if I have to? To save your life?” 

“I would rather die.” 

“That’s selfish.” 

“Well we’re both selfish.” Paige said. “You’d rather die than lose anybody else, just like me.” She was right. Why was  Paige always right? Sometimes it irritated to Rey to no end. “We do this smart so we lose as little as possible okay?” 

“Okay,” Rey said. “No dying.” It was a lie, but it made the other girl feel better, and there was a little bit of comfort in that. She could see Veronika from across the ship sitting down, looking small and scared. She motioned for the girl to come and sit on the other side of her. She did, laying her head down on Rey’s should and shivering. “We’re all going to be okay,” She said. “This is going to be okay.” 

“I’m scared,” Veronika said. Rey smiled softly down at the girl. She was scared too. 

“That doesn’t make you weak though,” Rey reassured her. “It just makes you stronger.” 


	26. warrior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I actually already finished this fic but you get one chapter a day

Invading the city to Paige should have been scarier to her than this. She held her breath as rain poured down in droves, she could see a big metal structure that had a semblance to bones. She assumed that was the weapon that could kill people like the kids at the Refuge, like Rey. 

“Rose works at the infirmary.” Rey said, “We can go back there first, you can be reunited with your sister.” Paige nodded. Both of them knew that she could have been re-stationed at this point, and Paige might not even be able to see her again like she wanted, but she hoped that she would. She hadn’t seen Rose in two years. 

It turned out that she didn’t have to wait that long to see her after all. They had planned on using a maintenance entrance that Paige had used before she defected. One that Rose happened to be sitting in front of. She was staring at something, but Paige wasn’t sure what. She jumped to attention when she saw the group of people heading towards her. 

“Rose?” 

It took a second for the girl to find Paige. “Paige?” Paige nodded, and the two of them ran towards each other. Paige embraced her younger sister. “I thought you were dead.” 

“Me too,” Paige said, “me too.” 

* * *

The first thing that Rey noticed was that the air smelled weird. She didn’t think anything of it at first, the air in cities always smelled weird to her and she knew that it was just the fact that she was used to frequenting jail cells and abandoned planets, but still, something was off. The air didn’t smell like this the last time she was at the Republic’s jail cells. She wondered if it was the weapon that was ready to fire in a number of hours. Or the preminition of death on her hands. 

The second thing Rey noticed was that when she and Luke invaded the council, it was way too easy. They acted like they didn’t expect it, but something was wrong. Something had to be wrong. Everything was going on too perfect. She pretended to ignore it for the time being, they herded all of the Senators to a room away from their usually corrupted meeting place. Some at gun point, some wielded staffs. None of these kids looked like kids, they looked more like warriors. 

That should be a good thing. It really should. But something about it filled Rey with immense sadness. These kids should not have to fight for their lives, they should not have blood on their hands or be worried about revolution or freedom, they should just be kids. They should have parents and be able to live and eat and play and do whatever normal kids were supposed to do. Whatever normal kids did. Rey wasn’t sure. 

“Are you okay?” Paige asked. Rey nodded. 

“Just want to get this over with.” She told the girl. 

“When we get this over with, you, me, Rose, and Kylo should all find a place to live together. I fucking hate politics and everything.” Rey smiled.  _ If I make it through this.  _

“You guys just need to hold them at gunpoint and keep them in the room, okay? I’ll take Veronika, Luke, and two others to come with me.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Paige asked. 

“I’m sure.”  _ You just got your sister back. I don’t want you to lose her now.  _

“Okay, well be careful.” She said. 

“I will.” Paige stared at her warily. It was clear that she knew that something was up but she decided not to push the issue. Luke and Veronika and two older kids came with her. 

_ I don’t like this martyr role that you’ve assigned yourself too.  _ Luke’s voice echoed in her mind.  _ You’re a kid, you shouldn’t be resigned to die now.  _

_ When you were a teenager going to fight your father, did you care about your own life? Or did you care more about everyone else around you?  _

No one said anything, just turned the corner. They had a few more places to hit before they could get to the weapon and properly destroy it.  _ I was concerned more with everyone else around me, but that also meant that I considered what toll my death would take on other people. My sister. My best friend. Imagine what would happen to Veronika, to Paige, to Kylo if you died. All the people you’ve affected. The kids from the Refuge. Me. Do you think no one would miss you?  _ No, she didn’t. Rey didn’t think that in the grand scheme of things, she would really matter. 

Sure, Kylo would be sad but in the end he would understand. She was doing this to protect him. Everything was too easy. There was no guards in the hallways and Rey found herself itching for a fight. There was a fight that was about to come soon and she could just feel it. They hit the first room which was one of the main control units for the weapon that Hux had built. “This doesn’t feel right.” Rey said. 

“I have a bad feeling about this.” 

* * *

 

Free the force sensitives. That was the objective, and the goal was clear enough. But the prison was so wide and abstract that there wasn’t anyway that they could free them all by themselves. As soon as Kylo and the others that had split off with him had moved towards the prison, they were met with droid fire. 

Four kids died in the first round of it. Kylo got grazed in the shoulder in the second, and then they were able to get inside. There were tons of guards inside, but not the human ones, the droid ones. The ones that were a little too easy to kill. They were saving up for something, and Kylo knew that it wasn’t going to be good. It made him wonder. The kids were good fighters, but were they prepared enough. 

He sent a message through the bond. 

_ I think we’re in a trap.  _ It bounced against a wall before Rey responded. 

_ We’re definitely in a trap, we’re being forced away from the weapon and towards you.  _ There was silence, Kylo forced his saber through a droid.  _ Hang in there.  _


	27. Blood

There was at least a solid thirty of them coming for them from just one direction.  _ This is it.  _

_ Not yet.  _ Luke said.  _ We’re nowhere near done.  _ They ended up splitting up and making a break for it down different corridors, but they all made it to the same place. The same place where Kylo was. “Hey,” Rey said.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Kylo joked.

“Very funny.” Rey was so tired, but this time there was people who would help her fight. She felt like she was going through the motion. Kill, after kill, after kill, after kill. Rey just wanted it to stop, she wanted it to stop so bad that she almost paused fighting to just let it end, and then she saw Veronika struggling against a man. 

She was bending backwards, trying to get far enough away to kill him. Rey contorted, plunging her lightsaber into the man’s side, and arching it upwards and to the side. It didn’t take long before they killed them all. Some of the kids were dead too. Rey was out of breath, heaving. That’s when they were plunged into a deep, red light. “What the fuck is going on now?” 

“Don’t worry,” Veronika said. “Rose did it. Emergency evacuation is on, all the cells are open.” Rey nodded.  _ This was fucking great.  _ She’d sent Kylo over here to do this for a reason, so that when she died he wouldn’t have to see it. 

_ You need to stop being so certain of your death.  _ Luke cared for her, she knew he did. Especially after the conversations they had, and how she’d opened up to him. He knew things that even Kylo didn’t, helped her heal what medicine couldn’t fix. “We need to get going.” Kylo said. He motioned to the kids that were remaining. “We need you to direct the prisoners back to the ships, find guards, kill them, take their weapons. Can you do that?” They nodded and left, two others stayed behind. They all started running back towards the weapon. 

In her mind Rey had already made peace with what she was going to do, and just confirmed it when she saw more hunters pouring in through the hallways shooting at them, boxing them in. Luke beat her too it though. “This way,” He pulled them into a corridor that they hadn’t seen before, but he stopped when the rest of them were running. Rey stopped too. “You need to go,” 

“No,” She said. “We fight them together, remember?” That’s when Luke did the unexpected. He embraced Rey in a momentary hug, and then pushed her back, he pressed a keypad at the end of corridor. A large door came down. Kylo turned back at that, grabbing Rey’s hand. 

“Come on,” He said. “He’s buying us time.” Rey didn’t say anything. She just saw red. “Rey? You okay?” 

“Veronika, I need you to get back to where the Senators are being held. Tell them to execute every last one of them.” 

* * *

Something about Rey was off. Kylo knew it. They were cutting through people too fast. The walls were bouncing with an energy that was indescribable. It was all Rey, all Rey. “Do you wonder who told them we were here?” She asked. “Because they knew we were coming.” 

“I wondered.” He said. “But if you were building a giant weapon that could wipe out a whole race wouldn’t you assume that someone would be coming to destroy it?” Rey nodded. 

“Maybe.” 

* * *

The reason Veronika didn’t listen to Rey was because she knew what Rey was doing, she wasn’t stupid. That seemed to be a thing that all the adults thought, she planted the thought in another girl’s mind and pressed herself into the wall, and disappeared. That’s when she ran into a guard. For a minute she contemplated screaming when he grabbed her, but she didn’t. She elbowed him the stomach and turned when he let her down. “Calm down, kid.” He said. 

She considered retorting with some comment about how she wasn’t a kid but she didn’t. The man in front of her looked no more than twenty, with dark skin and wide, innocent eyes. “Well excuse me if you grabbed at me from behind.” She was wary about him, but there was something about him that wasn’t like other bounty hunters. “Who are you?” 

“Finn,” The man said. Veronika took a chance, since he hadn’t tried to kill her or knock her out yet. 

“Finn, do you know where the control units to the weapon are?” 

* * *

 

The comms buzzed as Rey, Kylo, and the others were running down the hallway. It was his voice. “I’m wishing to address the heathens in the hallway that are planning on trying to destroy the weapon that is currently being geared to be fired up.” Rey rolled her eyes. “I just want to wish you good luck.” The comm turned off. 

“He’s taunting us.”

“Yeah no shit.” Rey said. “Come on. The faster we get there the sooner we can get this over with.” 

* * *

The Senate was dead, and Paige took Rose aside. “I have to find Rey,” She said. 

“What?”

“Rose, I have to.”

“It’s dangerous out there.” 

“I know.” She said. “But Rey helped me get back to you, I have to make sure she doesn’t do something stupid. You should stay here.” 

“No, Paige.” She hated doing this, especially when the two of them just found each other again. She was forming tears in her eyes and ultimately Paige felt horrible. “I just...I’m worried that if you do this we won’t ever get to be a team again.”

“I’ll be careful.” She said, “but I have to do this, okay?” 

* * *

Rey wondered if she was destined to be alone once. She wondered if she didn’t deserve to have someone, she knew that she didn’t. And then Kylo came along. Rey was proud to say that for once, she felt like she belonged with someone, even though she fought it to the very end. 

Rey had never had a home. 

Kylo was her home. 

She was about to leave her home again. They were almost there, but Rey had a plan. She had a plan to save him, quickly Rey turned. “I have to tell you something before we do this.” She said. “Just in case something happens.” He looked down at her with those big dark eyes and Rey swallowed. “I need to tell you that I love you.” She said. “I have for a while,” Rey twisted her hand in the collar of his tunic and made him bend down to kiss her. She knew this was the last time, so she had to make it good. 

Rey sent a warm, dark wave through the force, and Kylo buckled, Rey set him gently on the ground and looked back at the kids who were watching. “Find a place to hide and get him there, okay?” They nodded and started to pick him up, which was rather difficult. “Don’t come looking for me.” Rey didn’t watch Kylo being carried away. She had other things that she had to attend to. 

Rey knew that she wouldn’t be able to get to the control rooms very easily so she headed straight for the weapon itself. She didn’t know what she was going to use to destroy it, the only thing she had was her lightsaber but she knew that she would manage to figure something out. The first room that lead out to the weapon was this big,  glass looking observatory thing, there was one man standing, looking out through the window. 

Hux. Rey could’ve killed him right there, but she didn’t. “You know,” He said. “The first time I saw you in the Outer Rim jails, I thought you were interesting.” 

“Gee, thanks.” Rey rolled her eyes, igniting her lightsaber. 

“Though I have to admit that I didn’t think that you would amount to as much as you do now,” He turned. Hux’s eyes looked dead, soulless, and calculating. “So I have to congratulate you there.” 

“Are you going to stop villain monologuing or would you like me to take a seat?” 

“I just want to know what you think you’re trying to accomplish destroying the weapon? Especially when you’re going to die either way.” 

“Giving other people the chance to live.” She said, “It isn’t that deep.” 

“Can’t relate.” He said. That’s when he made a break for it. 

* * *

Veronika had turned off two of the control units with Finn, and was heading to the third when something in the force bloomed and ripped. “Can you turn off the third one yourself?” She asked. 

“Why?” 

“I need to go find my friend.” She said. “I think she just did something really, really stupid.” She took down the hallway without any other explanation. There was dead bodies all over the place, the air smelled like death that was just waiting to happen. 

* * *

Paige and Veronika met up at the same place where Rey had been. There blood all over the place, and her lightsaber was in the corner of the room. The both of them looked at each other, a sense of dread blanketed the room. Veronika picked up Rey’s lightsaber when a blast hit the room, a bright whiteish blue electric light filled the room and she doubled over in pain. She could feel the energy in her depleting. “Veronika!” Paige rushed to her side as Veronika dropped her lightsaber. 

“Go help Rey,” She said. “Please.” Paige picked up Rey’s lightsaber and ran outside. It was pouring down rain. Rain sizzled against the metal bridge that connect the large beam to the building. She could see Rey struggling. She didn’t know what happened, but she knew that she had to help her. Paige had a phaser that she’d kept clipped to her belt and a few explosives that she could use too. There was for large, metallic beams that would crumple in on themselves and create an implosion. 

She had to work fast. But first she had to get the lightsaber to Rey. 

* * *

 

Rey was winning the fight until the beam was activating.  It was like someone was draining her of her life force, and she couldn’t access her powers. She couldn’t use the force. And then she saw her. Paige. What was she doing here? She couldn’t be there. She wanted to keep her safe. “You are nothing!” Hux said. He threw another swing at her and Rey’s head hit the back of the metal grating floor. There was blood. “Your kind is going to be eradicated. You might as well lay back and accept it.”  _ Your kind shouldn’t recreate. Think of this as a service. Lay down and accept it.  _

That anger that Rey had earlier reignited. “Rey!” Paige shouted at her. It was impossible, but Paige threw her lightsaber. The slick of the rain made it hard to get a grip on, but Rey brought a blunt metal end to Hux’s head and he stumbled backwards, trying not to get away. 

Paige was doing something, she wasn’t sure what. But she couldn’t pay attention to that now.

She ignited the lightsaber. This fight was over.

* * *

Kylo felt it when Luke died. 

He felt something now too. 

Kylo woke up to the sound of an explosion, panicked and blocking everyone else out.  He ran, ran as fast as he could until he could find her. He could hear Veronika crying, the end of her side of the bond was hanging by a limp thread. Not completely dead but not really alive.  _ She couldn’t die. Not now.  _ Where were they? When Ben found the room that lead out to the destroyed weapon, Veronika was there, in the fetal position. 

“They fell.” Was all she said. “I couldn’t pull them back up.”

* * *

Paige woke up on the ground, disoriented and in pain. She looked down at her abdomen. There was a long, thin piece of metal protruding from her stomach. Shit. Paige hissed as she got to her feet. It didn’t take long for her to find Rey, who looked in worse shape than Paige was. She looked like a broken doll. Paige couldn’t look at her, she had to get to the Medbay. 

She had to. 

Rey was heavier than she looked. “Come on.” Paige said. “You are not dying on me this time. Come on.” With every step, Paige lost more blood and the Medbay seemed further away. She could get there. She knew she could. 


	28. epilogue

The room was decorated with blues and greens, two caskets set up at the end of the room, waiting for everyone to see it. “Are you ready?” Leia asked. Kylo swallowed, there were tears in his eyes. Leia embraced her son. “I know it’s tough.” He didn’t say anything, just walked with her to sit down. Rose, Finn, Veronika, and the remaining kids from the Refuge were there as well. 

“Today.” The pastor said, “We are here to celebrate the life of two people, not their deaths.” 

* * *

Rey woke up as Paige was dragging her. “What are you doing?” She was breathless and pained, and nearly tripped on the wet rocky ground as Paige pulled her. 

“I’m saving your life.” Paige said. “Now get up, come on.” Rey tried to stand and then screamed in pain. That’s when Paige remembered what happened. The fall. Rey had maneuvered somehow when Paige was falling so that she would take most of the damage. It ended up in broken bones and Rey pushing Paige off of her so she could just breathe. “It’s okay.” Paige pulled her again. “I can get you there. We can get help.” 

* * *

“Luke Skywalker was a man of notable fame and mystery, but when it came down to it, he was a man who was willing to sacrifice himself for a cause that he knew was fair and just. He would not want people to mourn him in this very moment.” 

* * *

They fell just before the doors leading into the Medbay. Neither of them could go on any longer, Paige held Rey in her arms. “I’m sorry.” She said. “I can’t do it.” 

“I already knew I was going to die anyway,” Rey’s voice was breathy and she kept stringing syllables together. “It’s okay. You tried. I just wish that you had stayed with your sister.” She said. Her eyes closed and her head leaned back against Paige’s shoulder. 

“Rey?” Paige shook her. “Rey, please. Not yet.” 

Rey’s eyes fluttered open. “What do you want?” 

“Let me die first. Please.” she said. 

“No.” Rey shook her head. “If you die on me I will be the most annoying friend in the afterlife, you can bet your ass on it.” 

“Do you think we’ll have the same afterlife?” Paige asked, “Because honestly I don’t think it could be that bad if you were there.” 

“You’ll get it better than me.” Rey said. “I promise you that. You’ll be stardust, because that’s what you deserve.” 

“I want to be where you are.” She said. “So don’t die yet. Please.” 

* * *

Rose was crying, she didn’t talk to Kylo once since that day. He couldn’t blame her, especially after what happened at the medbay. He just wished that it had happened differently. “Paige Tico died a hero, she died saving a friend, a girl that she considered her second sister. And that is something that no one will ever be able to top.” Kylo wished that Rey was here to see this. To be able to say her goodbyes, but she couldn’t. 

After the funeral was over, Kylo ended up in the medbay like he always did. Rey was getting her daily dose of bacta by the med droids today. Kylo watched as she was transferred back up on to her bed, her vitals getting read. He didn’t say anything, just stared down at her. 

“She’ll wake up,” Veronika had gotten into the room somehow. “I know she will.” 

* * *

 

Rey’s eyes fluttered open, being exposed to bright light. There was an overwhelming sense of deja vu as her eyes landed on Kylo. He looked surprised that she’d woken up. “Hey,” She said. “Why does everything hurt so much?” 

“You got stabbed by Hux, and then fell a good thirty to forty feet onto rock solid concrete, broke multiple bones, and punctured a lung and please, please, please never try and sacrifice yourself again.” He said. “You’ve given me multiple heart attacks and I don’t think that I can handle it anymore.” Rey smiled a little, then she looked around. 

“Where’s Paige?” 

Silence. 

Oh. 

“She died, four months ago.” 

“I’ve been under for four months?” 

“Yeah,” 

“I want to see her.” She was about to get up, but fell to the floor. Her legs weren’t really working yet. 

“Goddamn it Rey, I was about to get you a wheelchair.” He picked her off the floor like she was a sack of grapes and plopped her down in a wheelchair. “She’s buried next to Luke.” She said. “Before she died she told me that if you made it she didn’t want you to blame yourself.” Rey closed her eyes as Kylo spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” She said, “I’m so sorry.” Tears started flowing, her ribs hurt. 

“It’s okay,” Kylo told her. “It’ll be okay. After this you and I can go wherever you want.” 

“Anywhere?” 

“Anywhere.” Kylo assured her. “As long as it’s with you.” 


End file.
